Nevermore! Nevermore! This Raven Book Umbrella is based on Edgar Allen Poe’s book. I think it’s about a bird or something. Now it is an awesome umbrella. Everybody is raven about it! It comes in pretty handy when the weather is for the birds. It’s perfect for those massive storms where you are facing an Edgar Allen Down-Poe. I’m so rocking the wordplay today. And that’s good, cuz you guys have been raven-ous for it. Okay. Okay. I will do the wordplay nevermore. I was just (c)raven some fun.
Tag: novelty
This Steak Is Made Entirely Out Of Tape
This Steak Is Made Entirely Out Of Tape. That really ticks me off cuz it made me hungry. If I want a steak made of tape I’ll just let my wife cook tonight. It will taste like chewing on tape, plus it will probably give me a tape worm that I have to feed for like a year while it lays eggs in my gut.
This steak looks pretty realistic and unlike my wife’s it actually looks edible. I’m gonna show her this and tell her that’s what a steak should look like. It shouldn’t look like an off color turkey with atomic acne, all laced up with a shoelace. Damn I’m hungry!
Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys
Full disclosure. I have no idea what a poppet is, but I’m pretty sure it’s what the doctor removed from my rear. Rectum? No he destroyed ’em! Hahahaha. That’s a little butt humor right there. I apologize. I kept saying. Poppet! Just poppet!
Anyway… These Creepy And Cuddly Poppet Pillow Toys from doctormorose will look great in your home or mortuary. Say, isn’t that where Mort lives? That’s what mom used to say. That trip made me sad in my heart. Mort was not there. Only death. *Shudders*
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Vampire Costume For Babies
This Vampire Costume For Babies will turn your little bundle of joy into a well dressed blood sucker. College usually does the same thing, but why wait? You won’t believe your little ray of sunshine after you put this on him. He’ll be drinking from a blood red bottle, adverse to sunlight and may even turn into a bat as he escapes his huggies. What a cute little scamp-pire.
Until he tries to bite your neck at feeding time. It’s all good though. Could be worse. He could be the Wolfman. Baby Wolfmen leave hair everywhere. And whole chicken carcasses.
The Toothpaste Purse
This toothpaste purse is way better than the one I made. That will be $8.39 sir. I think I have some change. Here we go. Never mind all of the goo. That’s just Crest, I promise. It will keep your cash register minty fresh. *Puts toothpaste purse back in my pocket. Sees the gooey white mess all over my pants.* That’s not good. This situation has a police car ride all over it. This is why I never DIY, cuz I DIW(Do It Wrong). No, don’t call the manager. I’ll put the condoms back. See, this isn’t weird at all.