Tag: novelty

Hungry Hungry Hippo Rings

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Hungry Hungry Hippo Rings
Hungry Hungry Hippos Rings. I’ll get one and you can get one. Then we can have some epic marble eating competitions. They really work. I haven’t played Hungry Hungry Hippos in ages. If I want to see a bunch of large beasts fighting over stuff, I’ll go to any Walmart next to a McDonald’s on a Black Friday.

I’d have one of these on every finger. Both hands. Then you can unleash the marbles. Or these little cheese puff balls. That way I get to eat what they eat. Hey, I’m also a Walmart customer the rest of the year.
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Scary Tapping Peeper

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tapping peeper
Jeepers creepers, why is this guy going all peepers and looking in my window and tapping on the glass? *Screams like a girl in the full throws of beatlemania, puts hands to face and falls over fainting.* Beatlemania. It was a thing. Look it up.

Damn this Tapping Peeper is scary. Scarier than that other one we featured awhile back. This one taps on the glass so you will jump right out of your skin, call the cops and then grab the shotgun and every knife in the kitchen, run back in the room and see it again, then have a heart attack.

Tapping Peeper. *Giggles* Sounds dirty. I’d tap that. With my peeper.
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Rib Cage X-Ray Skeleton Sweater

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Rib Cage X-Ray Skeleton Sweater
Hey, nice ribs. You’ll be a walking X-Ray in this Rib Cage X-Ray Skeleton Sweater. You’ll be warm even though it looks like you have nothing on. Fun fact: This is how I look every time I plug in my toaster. I always curse the landlord, shake uncontrollably for 2 hours and then forget about the whole thing. This jogged my memory. What was I typing about? I like toast.
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Crazy Food Marionette Puppets: Watch My Hot Dog Dance!

Artemis Winterford2 Comments

Crazy Food Marionette Puppets
These crazy Food Marionette Puppets from pocketlamps are awesome and freaky. I wanna get one just so I can make my wiener dance around and sing. Maybe put on a one man show. I would call him Wiener Schnitzel. It would be the worst. Bratwurst! The reviews would say, “That is one hot dog!” and “I relished the whole thing.”

There’s also a Hamburger and a pretzel. I gotta go write my script. I am gonna bring Broadway crashing to it’s knees and weeping to make it stop.
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Sleep (Not So) Well Light Switch Switchplate

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Sleep (Not So) Well Light Switch Switchplate
This Light Switch Switchplate tells you to sleep well, because you will likely be dead in the morning. I find it comforting, but that may just be because that’s the same thing my wife says every night. She crazy.

Pro tip: If what happened in Vegas really stayed in Vegas they wouldn’t have wedding chapels. Trust me, what happens in Vegas? Sometimes you bring it home. Because you don’t have enough pain and misery in your life.