I’m gonna store all of my Red Bull in this Gothic Black Bat Wings Backpack. You know why? Cuz Red Bull gives you wings! Well, sure diabetes too, but wings aint bad. Gonna strap this thing on and run real fast so those wings flap in the breeze while I squeak like a bat, even if that is just my asthma. It’s gonna be so cool. I’m a bat out of hell baby! Then I’ll jump off the roof and either fly or be a puddle of Red Bull on the sidewalk.
Tag: novelty
Friday the 13th Ice Cube Tray – Ch Ch Ch Ice Ice Ice
This Friday the 13th Ice Cube Tray is perfect for a tall glass of OMG IT’S A MASKED KILLER. Or is that a masked chiller? Ch ch ch ice ice ice… Baby… Chill your drinks with the masked head of a serial killer. Cuz drinks are always better with my main man Jason. I loved him in Nightmare on Elm Street. Just kidding. I know he’s the one known as Leatherface from the Jeepers Creepers don’t ya know.
GRANDMA STOP WRITING ON MY BLOG!
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Bone Appetit – Skull Bowl
Chips and dip? Cheese and crackers? M and M’s? Popcorn? Whatever you serve up in this Skull Bowl, it’s taking things to a very macabre level. Eat like the undertakers do. Oh c’mon you know they do freaky stuff like this all of the time. Cuz they play with dead bodies and stuff. Hey, can I get some chips and dip in a cracked skull? Chips and dip in a hip would be more appropriate. Cuz it rhymes. Poor guy whose skull that is. How could he let that happen to him? No brain. That’s how. I guess that makes whatever appetizer you have in it a no-brainer too. Celebrating the Super Bowl? Use a Skull Bowl.
Melting Plastic Leggings
These Melting Plastic Leggings are going to be all the rage this year. And all the rage will be from my mom when I ruin my new white pants by having my buddy Shane throw red wax on my crotch so it can drip down. Also I’ll be stuck in these pants forever since my man-parts will be fused with the material. Worth it though, even if I have to run around in circles trailing smoke until I find a water bin to sit in to put the fire out.
Full Moon Panties
Full Moon Panties? Those aren’t full moon panties. Full moon panties are no panties at all. Just your ass painted by the light of the full moon. I would have called these the Wolf of Ball Street. What? They’re for women? Are you sure? Cuz I’m pretty sure I can make that wolf tongue move and appear to lick itself. No takers?