So this exists. An iPhone Umbilical Cord. It helps you stay connected. Get it? Yeah, it’s pretty gross. Great, now I have to play Pokemon Go for two. This thing is like a leech. It would probably suck up all my calcium and minerals, and give it to my iPhone baby. Check out the video to see how creepy and gross this thing really is. It looks like a snake trying to swallow an iPhone. It also looks like an iPhone trying to use a fleshlight. Not sure which. You see what Apple wants for all of us?
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Tag: novelty
Crazy Robotic Talking Monkey
What in the seven levels of simian hell? This Big Gulp sized hit of nightmare juice is a Robotic Talking Monkey. It has basically become self-aware and is now fully insane. Don’t believe me? Check out the video below. I have no idea what the hell it’s even saying. I only know that I want to run away screaming. And I did. But I came back to the computer for you guys. It follows your movement, the eyes blink and move and you can make the monkey say or sing whoever you want apparently.
Just use your audio, computer, iPhone, iPod or whatever, for the audio input. The monkey has sensors that wake up and will follow your movements.
I think it’s time to shock the monkey. Hey hey…
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Freddy Krueger Baby Soap
1, 2, Freddy’s scrubbin’ on you. 3, 4, better lather some more. 5, 6, better clean your d**k. Like a lot of this stuff, I have no idea what this Freddy Krueger Baby Soap is all about. No wonder Freddy went nuts. Can you imagine being a little soap baby and having to wash everyone’s privates? Gettin’ pubes all over you? I would turn into a freaky killer too. Freaky.
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Taxidermy Turkey Feet Bookends
Oh, now I know who’s been running away with my books. I should never have bought those Taxidermy Turkey Feet Bookends. I think I just saw them running in the other room with all my good books between them. Get back here you jerky turkey! This is why I have chicken wire around the house, to stop exactly this sort of thing.
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Crazy Candy Dress
Candy Land called. It wants its candy dress back. At a recent Willy Wonka fashion show this dress stole the show. It’s made out of Rock candy, Sour straps, Marshmallow ropes, Gummi Grapefruit & M&M’s. You know, the five basic food groups. You could tell that somebody hack stage licked it all over and then hung it back up cuz it was covered in lint and hair. For $2,500. it better be lined with everlasting gobstoppers.