These Skeleton LED Gloves make your hands look like neon bones. I AM THE FUTURISTIC ROBOT SKELETON. Let’s get this rave started! Are raves still a thing? Do they rave about them? Does anyone have a spare pacifier I can borrow? One that hasn’t been in any orifices this time would be much appreciated. Yeah, very funny. Now turn down the lights and watch my hands do their thing!
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Tag: novelty
Lighting Most Fowl – Dancing Chicken Lamp
What poultry offering do I have for you this time? How about a Dancing Chicken Lamp? Does it do the hustle? The Charleston? The Elaine from Seinfeld? I have no idea.
All I know is that this chicken has paid it’s Per-Dues and is ready to dance the night away. So crank up the volume and play some funky nuggets and some free range beats. This lamp is feather-pluckin’ insane son!
Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies
These Edible Dracula Coffin Cookies look delicious. I would buy ’em if I had the dough. Also would bake ’em if I had the dough. Which I dough not.
*Hack* *Hack* *Wretch* *Coughs all over a sheet of freshly baked cookies.*
You okay man? You sound like you’re hacking up a lung.
I’m fine. Just making some coughin’ cookies. Can’t make ’em without coughin’. *Looks at the recipe.* Ohhhhhhh. I see what I did wrong. Coffin, not coughin’! Oh well, everybody eat up. You might as well call in sick for work tomorrow right now. Patient zero is in the kitchen!
Update: These are cookie toppers. Not cookies. Cuz I’m a hungry idiot.
The Watch Frog Sees Everything
Why does this “watch frog” have it’s eye on me? You spying on me?
Just a lil-ribbit.
Okay cool. You didn’t see nothing right? Just a guy relaxing on a weeknight, watching some Netflix with a rubber chicken nearby. Anyway, watch that eye. You don’t wanna get frog-glaucoma. Hey, here’s a good one.
Why couldn’t the 1/8 Polish guy join the Polish military?
Cuz he was only a tad Pole. Hahahaha.
Nothing to say about that? Frog in your throat? I kid. I kid. Seriously though, stop watching me.*Pulls shade down and grabs rubber chicken.*
Wacky Taxidermy – What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Stronger
Do you even lift bro? That’s what I thought. Me? I brought some serious heat to this gun show. Okay, my arm muscles are like one of those tiny lady-guns they put in their stockings, but still, I showed up and flexed for yall, so that counts for something. Anyway, this is a $334.72 taxidermy scene that depicts two mouse bros working out and gettin’ them gains!
Yeah, I’ve thought about making one like this, but all the mice in my traps just look like the weights dropped down and pinned them by the neck, so…
Look at the mouse just bench pressing, while the other one thinks it’s a trap. Nice one Planet Zitness!