Tag: octopus

Houseware Of Horrors

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

housewares of horrors
Etsy seller shaynegreco has all kinds of housewares with horrible things crawling all over them. Mostly sea creatures. The only time I’ve seen crabs this size crawling on plates was when I visited that “Gentleman’s club/ Diner” in New Orleans. (Bad combination. Do NOT recommend.) At least these won’t be moving and they won’t require a doctor in a hazmat suit to shut down the premises.

This seller has Octopi on platters, crabs on china and other monstrosities that don’t belong on your dishware. Every time you serve yourself on these creepy plates you are fighting creatures for your food. Get off Lobster! Mine! Go find Nemo and leave my food alone!
Read more “Houseware Of Horrors”

Cthulhu Zippered Fleece Hoodie

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Cthulhu Zippered Fleece HoodieConceal your true identity behind tentacles when you cosplay as Cthulhu wearing this hoodie. Girl, you look so fine I had to roll a sanity check, cuz I’m about to lose my mind. The gamer geeks know what I’m talking about. This Cthulhu hoodie will keep you warm and looking like the ancient terror himself.

You’ll look like you are crawling out of his tentacled mouth.
Read more “Cthulhu Zippered Fleece Hoodie”

Run! Steampunk Octopus On A Chariot

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

steampunk octopusWhen you see a steampunk octopus wearing goggles, waving a trident at you, while riding a chariot, you better run like hell. This awesome piece is made almost entirely out of wood.

Is it octopus or octopi? An octopi sounds delicious, but I bet it would be all slimy and nasty. Do they travel in an octopod? If they get hurt, do the leak octo-puss? Stop confusing my octopuses. And stop chasing people on chariots. It’s 2014. Would it kill you to use one of your 8 limbs to open a car door and get in?
Read more “Run! Steampunk Octopus On A Chariot”

Unleash The Kraken…Dice Bag

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

kraken dice bagWhat’s Kraken peeps? Nuffin much, just playing some D and D with my sweet-ass Kraken dice bag by my side. He’s been unleashed you see. And it wasn’t easy getting a leash on him in the first place so I’m not about to put him away now. Besides, I just rolled a sweet crit against an Undead Goblin Mage and the rescued halfling Princess is about to show her gratitude, if you know what I mean. *wink, wink* It’s gonna be soooo sweet. The two of us are running away together.

Because I’m the hero D and D deserves, but not the one it needs right now… Plus, I’m really horny.

Cthulhu Glory Hole: Wall Tentacle Sculpture

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cthulhu tentacleThis wall tentacle sculpture or as I like to call it, Cthulhu glory hole, is pretty awesome. Cthulhu can stick his stuff through it while you rub lotion on his suckered tentacles or whatever. It’s perfect for those guys who like to play that suffocation game too. Just put the bag over your head and let the tentacles tighten around your neck. Good times.(Not really. Never try that at home. Trust me on that one. Cthulhu has a super kung-fu grip.)

Jules Verne had to go 20,000 leagues under the sea for that kind of action(since it’s not acceptable behavior), while you can have it in your home for just $3,500.00.

Click through for more images.
Read more “Cthulhu Glory Hole: Wall Tentacle Sculpture”