Tag: plush

Plush Spider Baby: Made From The Souls Of Your Old Toys

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plush spider babyDo you have a bunch of old toys that you would like to re-animate? Cool. Etsy sappymoosetree will work some strange cultist magic and turn your old toys into a kick-ass plush spider baby. Not sure if that involves zapping it with lightning or not, but once this thing comes to life, all of the toys in your house are dead.

And since it will have the souls of all of your old toys and the ones it just ate, it will be an unstoppable force of evil. It may even mutate again all on it’s own. If this thing wanders into a Toys R Us we are all screwed!
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Cuddle Clones Turn Your Pet Into A Stuffed Animal

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cuddle clones
Cuddle Clones is a service that makes a stuffed animal version of your pet from a picture. They look pretty realistic. It gives your dog a doppelganger. Or is that dogpelganger? This service also comes in handy if Fido kicks the bucket. That way you can remember him. If you want to be really weird, you can go right on taking Fido for walksies and poopsies. Hey, whatever floats your boat.

I wonder if they do humans. I not only need a buddy for the carpool lane, I also need something to put in my bed to fool my wife when I sneak out at night to gamble and drink. Nah. I never do anything that manly. It’s mostly just late night computer games and trolling online. If this doppelganger works, the My Little Pony forums won’t know what hit them.
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Adventure Time Pocket Plush Toys

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adventure time plush
They had me at Adventure Time, but when they told me to grab a friend, I have to admit I came up with nothin’. So I grabbed my cat and we sat through the first 4 seasons. Man that show is whacked. Fist/Paw bump! Ow! Claw me to shreds much? It’s cool, homies take care of homies. Forever!

These Adventure Time Pocket Plush Toys are plush. They fit in your pocket. Basically it’s an excuse to wear a bunch of extra pockets so each can have a home on my body. Otherwise known as the land of Ewww! All of you plushes can shut your plush hole. I’ll put deodorant on when I’m good and ready!

The seller has all kinds of cute little plushes, but I ran out of pockets after my mom sewed the 9th one on my T-shirt. Now I look like the Hollywood Squares, plush edition. Shut up Lemongrab! The answer to every question is not “Unacceptable!”
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Custom Pet Portrait Pillow Plush

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pet pillows
So how do you want to remember Sparky and Fluffy when they are long gone? By looking at an urn on the mantle? Nah. Pet ashes fall on the carpet and make a mess. Then you breath that jazz in and get all possessed by your cat. Eventually being sent to the nuthouse after you have scratched up all of the furniture and peed in the corner too many times. There’s a better way.

Put your pets image on these Custom Pet Portrait Pillow Plushes. That way you can still cuddle and hug your pet. Having a giant cat head on your couch will still look creepy, but it beats the alternative of lifting your leg and peeing in your padded cell.
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ButtHeads Are Cuddly Plush Cigarettes

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buttheads cigarette plushWhat a bunch of ButtHeads. Some are cute and some look grumpy, but these butts are for cuddling not for smoking. You can choose from: smoked, not smoked or stepped on. Pro tip: If they come home with lipstick on their filter, you know they have been cheating on you.

These huggable and lovable butts might even help you quit smoking. Just punch it or hug it. Or both. While others are lighting up in their smoking areas, join them with your ButtHead and softly caress it as you smell that sweet smoke. Take it with you everywhere in place of smoking. On the bus, to the movies, to dinner. When the craving becomes too much, strangle your ButtHead. That’s what it’s there for. It’s sooooo hard to quit. Which is why your ButtHead will end up shredded, on the wrong side of a knife as you completely lose it.

Damn. That felt good. I need a smoke after that.