Tag: scary

Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set

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Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set
Oh man. Your bathroom is about to get badass peeps. This Skull and Skeleton Toilet Bowl Brush Set is going to look great in your Gothic themed bathroom. What? Don’t we all have Gothic themed bathrooms? Well, I just did mine up real nice with a bat toilet paper holder, stained glass window, some anti-vampire crucifixes and… Wait. You guys didn’t decorate your rooms? Guys, we were all supposed to do it. I’m the only one? Great. We pinky promised and everything. And I didn’t even want to pinky promise cuz it’s not manly, but I did anyway. This really sucks guys!

I just spent like 2 grand on all this! The gargoyle decorations alone cost me $200. Whatevs. I have a sweet Gothic human guano room and you don’t. I like to call it my steam room. As in Cleveland steamer. Oh! Zing! Didn’t see that coming did ya? Hmmmm. I really need to install some ventilation in here.

Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards

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Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards
What’s this? Someone sent me a greeting card! How thoughtful. Oh wait. It’s one of those Misfortune Cookies Anti-Greeting Cards. Not sure if I should be depressed or not. Send these to both your friends and your foes. On the front it says “This message will self-disturb in two seconds”. Then you write whatever you want inside. Pretty awesome and kinda twisted, which is just the way we like it around here. Don’t forget about the company’s actual Misfortune Cookies either. So dark and tasty. Give ’em as a gift and send them a card with it. Perfect.

Aliens In New York City Prank

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Aliens In New York City Prank
This is a video from FOX to promote the January 3rd release of The X-Files on Fox. Basically they scare the hell out of people by having aliens show up. Alien hands reaching out of a newspaper vending machine, aliens popping out of things, aliens scaring unsuspecting New Yorkers. It takes a lot to scare New Yorkers. Most of these victims may have had a jump scare at first, but then they are just quickly relieved that they didn’t step in bum-piss or get attacked by one of the city’s many dog-sized cockroaches. Oh just an alien? No big deal. “I’m a New Yorker! I just impaled a radioactive sewer rat with my umbrella, so get outta here which your aliens ya jabroni! Forget about it!”
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Cool UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt

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UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt
This UFO Abduction Bigfoot T Shirt shows Bigfoot getting sucked up into a UFO. Or does it? I think they are dropping this sasquatch off. What the shizz? You UFOs just think you can dump your creatures here anytime you want? This planet isn’t some Bigfoot daycare center. You can’t just drop your hairy brats off without even parking, leave them here for like 3 weeks and then pick them up after your big party of Alpha Centauri, still half drunk and smelling like alien sex and Martian Margaritas.

Macabre Tumbler Glass Set

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Macabre Tumbler Glass Set
Have a cool glass of macabre with this Macabre Tumbler Glass Set. Reminds me of that one song. Macabre on the rocks. Ain’t no surprise. Just pour me a drink and I’ll tell ya some lies… This set includes four 11oz. glasses that include moth, scarab beetle, skull and anatomical heart designs. These are gonna look good in my bar. Right next to the drunk who keeps running up a tab. The drunk is me. The drunk is I. The drunk is sleepy. Now leave me alone so I can pass out so hard that I don’t know whether I’m passing out or passing in. But I can tell ya, I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in.