Tag: style

Real Insect Jewelry: Beetle Necklaces

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Real Insect Jewelry Beetle Necklaces
Check out these Beetle Necklaces. These beetles are pretty colorful. Apparently they are also called Weevils, because God forbid you have one easy word for an insect. Stupid scientists and bug nerds!

Evel Knievel was an evil weevil who liked to paint on an easel, and everyone thought he was a weasel. Yay! I made words rhyme. I’m just awesome like that. Did I do good? Can I have a treat daddy? Since I am my own daddy, I say yes. I may have a bag of Cheetos. Awesome. I love you daddy. I know.

Much like the Beatles when wearing Sgt. Pepper uniforms, these beetles are all bright and colorful. And just like two of the four Beatles, these beetles are stuck in their own little coffins for eternity. If I was a Beatle, it would be Paul. Because the Walrus was Paul. Later peeps. There’s a bag of Cheetos with my name on them. Probably because I take a sharpie to the supermarket and autograph everything.
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Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses

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Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses
Whoa! Who’s that cat-eyed vixen walking down the street so sexy and sure of herself? It could be you! That’s who! Imagine yourself all cattin’ around and battin’ around with these Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses. Looking like the cat who ate the canary- Wait. Is that really yellow feathers on the side of your mouth? Dissss-gusting girl!

What exactly are you hiding behind those sunglasses? Oh I see. The bright red eyes of a bird-eating vampire. Well, I guess you have to get blood where you can find it. Come to think of it, you’re talking to a whole bag full of blood right now. *gulp* *Loosens collar nervously. Come to think of it- Tightens it again* Yeah, it was nice meeting you. Heh. I’ll just- I have stuff to do. For people who know where I am and are expecting me. Heh. Good luck on your feeding. *Zips away like a cartoon*
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Satan’s Cheerleaders Dress

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Satan's Cheerleaders Dress
Hey look! Satan’s Cheerleaders Dress. Did you try out for the team? I know right! I was like, soooo in the finals, but my breasts just weren’t perky enough. Wanna go get a frappuchino and stare vacantly at nothing? K. Cool. What was I saying?

Ra-ra Shish-boom-ba! The devil’s gonna win so burn your bra.
Our teams hot cuz it’s from Hades,
You sold your soul for that brand new Mercedes.

I don’t know the rest. I’ll ask the coach. Also, that burn your bra line has nothing to do with with women’s rights. It just rhymed. I love what you’re doing up there. *Points at breasts* Whether they’re bound or unbound. You go girl.

Friday The 13th Jason Custom Converse All Stars

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Friday The 13th Jason Custom Converse All Stars
Yo, guy in hockey mask. If you are gonna wear the mask, you might as well have shoes to match. And these Friday The 13th Jason Custom Converse All Stars make a killer statement. They say, ” I kill people, but I still care about fashion and style. I’m deranged, but I’m also hip. I’m unhinged, but I care about my appearance.” So get these shoes you machete wielding freak!

Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace

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Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace
Well looky here. You are gonna be a regular Cate Planchette when you wear this Wood Ouija Board Planchette Necklace. Now all you have to do is tattoo a Ouija board to your chest, I’ll ask the spirit world some questions, put my fingers on the planchette and get some answers from the other side. What do you say? I’m thinking this is the only way I get to stare at and rub a chest for an extended period of time. All in an effort to contact loved ones on the other side of course. That’s all. No other motives. Hey, don’t judge me. You already had that thing around your neck.