Creepy Glowing Alien Visitor Pendant

Creepy Glowing Alien Visitor Pendant
This Alien Visitor Pendant reminds me of those alien lizards from “V” who pretended to be human with fake skin and stuff. It’s cool, we unmasked them on live TV and exposed them. Go take somebody else’s water and use other humans for food you crazy space geckos. Is it just me or does this guy look pissed off? He’s pretty butt-hurt, which is funny considering all the probing they do to humans. It’s about time you got some of your own.

Also, check out how cool this thing looks when it glows. He’s revealing his natural green color. Of course I guess that could be the afterglow from alien sex.

UFO’s in flight…Afternoon delight!

Unless he’s just green with envy, cuz everybody else is gettin’ some. I feel ya dog. Fist bump me. Sorry, forgot you were just a head. *Hits a knuckle to your forehead.* Intergalactic women. Who needs em? Alien bros before hos am I right? Oh, stop being grumpy. See, this is why the ladies don’t dig ya.
Creepy Glowing Alien Visitor Pendant

Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace

Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace
Meow! Meow! Rubs up on your legs, showing off my insides while I put my bony cat-butt in your face. This cool Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace shows off the cat’s anatomy so you can get a look at it’s insides. This cat has guts, I’ll give it that. It even has a mouse in there that it just ate. Did someone have yum-yums? Was that you? Who’s the cute kitty with his insides showing? It’s you. Yes it is. *Scratches it under the chin*

BakuForestStudios has several x-ray animal necklaces to choose from. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. I wish I had a cool skeleton cat to pal around with.

Charlotte’s Web Talisman Necklace With Real Spider Web

Charlotte's Web Talisman Necklace With Real Spider Web
Check out these Charlotte’s Web Talisman Necklaces With Real Spider Webs. That’s how you get creepy and nasty insects to work for you. Although I asked for my name to be spelled out like three times already and it still looks like a kindergartner with a caffeine addiction. Hell, I could have done that myself and I don’t spin webs out of my butt, but I do wrap up my food in little saran-wrap cocoons super fast using just my front legs. Hey, I dig freshness. That pot roast I cooked last night is fresh as funky beats. It’s gonna stay that way!

These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump’s Combover

These Shoes Look Like Donald Trump's Combover
Few things in this life are as powerful and hefty as Donald Trump’s combover. Whether you are a Trump supporter or detractor, you can now own a pair of shoes that are seemingly inspired by The Donald’s hair. Gucci’s new Princetown Goat-Hair Mules are just… WTF. I don’t even know what to say about them. They cost $1,800, but if you are the kind of person wearing these, your therapist will cost a lot more. How did I know you had a therapist? Well, if you like these shoes, you need one. That’s for sure. It looks like you stepped on a pair of tribbles.
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Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet

Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet
This Call of Cthulhu H.P. Lovecraft Wallet is so cool that it not only calls Cthulhu, it calls Cthulhu and sets up and date, then bangs Cthulhu and leaves in the morning, tucking some cab fair under his tentacles. So yeah, it’s a pretty cool wallet that isn’t messing around. The front features an awesome illustration, while the back side features a famous quote from the story: That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die. This wallet makes an awesome gift.

I’ll expect it gift wrapped though. And throw me a surprise party and invite all of my friends. Aw, you shouldn’t have. *whispers* Yes you should have. Where’s the ice cream and party hats?