Tag: teeth

Human Teeth Cufflinks

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Human Teeth Cufflinks
Sure, you could wear Human Teeth Cufflinks to a fancy event… Or you could just make them on scene, which is the method I prefer. Usually I just punch somebody in the mouth, and hide in the closet with the unconscious and now toothless victim while I am attaching teeth to my cufflinks with a hot glue gun. Then I snap my cuffs, adjust my tie and leave like James Bond. I’m all about the instant DIY.

Then when I leave I find the same guy and punch him again and hot glue them back in his face, cuz I always give back. I’m not a dick.

Monster Light Switch Cover Plates

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Monster Light Switch Cover Plates
*Flips switch* Ow! Cut my finger on the teeth again. Ow! Damnit! Now I probably have an infection from Monster saliva. What the hell. I didn’t need the lights on anyway. Gonna use candles from now on. Stupid Monster Light Switch Cover Plates. Plus, that puddle of drool/saliva on the floor under the light switch is probably a safety hazard. These guys still aren’t housebroken. And I’m sick of brushing their teeth once a month! That’s more than I brush my own.

If you don’t mind all that, you can choose from this one or this one.
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Vampire Teeth Ring

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Vampire Teeth Ring
This Vampire Teeth Ring has got bite! You know that Dracula wears one like this right? But I ain’t tellin’ ya where he wears it. Know what I’m sayin’? What I’m sayin’ is he wears it as a Vampire C**k Ring, or VCR for short. Why ya gotta make me spell it out for ya? Damn. Never ask to see a Vampires VCR, cuz that ain’t a Samsung or Panasonic! What do you mean, how do I know? I just do. I’ve said too much. The point is, you should wear it out in the open so everybody knows. Just sayin’. I’m getting two of these bad boys so I can have a full Vampire jaw on my finger.

Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch

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Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch
Let me see what time it is. I don’t want to be late for- DEAR EFFING GOD! This Tentacles and Teeth Pocket Watch won’t give you the time, but it might give you a heart attack. What time is it guv-ner? You dare ask me for the time you timeless cretin? Here let me show you. *Guy screams and holds his head.* There’s the time! It’s teeth and tentacle time! Look closer! It’s half past horror and a quarter to insanity! Now off with you, before I show you the alarm function!

If this watch takes a licking,but keepson ticking, it can die,cuz I ain’t lickin’ that.

Teeth Pendant Necklace

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Teeth Pendant Necklace
This Teeth pendant necklace is a bunch of teeth and pink gums in necklace form. Why? Because the tooth fairy gets bored. And is also touched in the head. It will look real nice with a Christmas sweater and will probably chew any and all crumbs that you drop. Make sure you brush ’em day and night.