Sugar skull huh? Let me take a lick! Hmmm. Tastes like metal, but I do like the texture. Guess I gotta supply my own sugar. Nah, I don’t, cuz this Sterling Silver Vampire Sugar Skull Necklace is gonna look sweet on you ladies. Sweet as sugar. I mean, I guess a man could wear it too. No shame in that game. If you get it as a gift just make sure you say fangs. It’s only polite. Fangs you very much!
Author: Artemis Winterford
Set of 4 Mothman Cups
Now you can have a Mothman sighting every time you take a drink. This Set of 4 Mothman Cups gets the party started and fulfills the Mothman prophecies: Getting drunk AF while drinking from a monster cup.
The Mothman is a cryptid that was originally spotted in West Virginia, but you will see him everyday. He’s part man, part moth, all motha’f’er! A total badass. He’s got the wings to be your wingman. And when he scores you the chicks, he’s flying into a distant light like the majestic bast*rd that he is.
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Krampus Mask and Suit
Hey everybody! It’s Krampus. Don’t tell your grampus! Get on your skateboard an jump him with a rampus. Gather everyone around, tell the whole campus. If it’s dark go and light a lampus. I’m so excited I got a crampus and now my pants are dampus!
This Krampus Mask and Suit is the shizz! I guess it could also double as the abominable snowman. Check out that nose ring. Dude should be plowing a field somewhere, getting whipped by a farmer. As for the outfit, I had no idea he was into bondage. Whatever floats your boat dude. Do your thing. I don’t judge.
Handcrafted Critter Horror Toy
Look. A Critter Horror toy! Critters are the worst. You get with the wrong woman in the wrong part of town and you got nothin’ but critters all over your junk and the pharmacist is all like, “This’ll get rid of ’em” so you lather your firepole and bean bags up real good and nothin’. You still got critters everywhere, bitin’ and itchin’, making your junk feel like a whopper cuz it’s all flame broiled down there at this point. These guys are nasty.
The Classic Monster Coffin Blu-Ray Collection – 8 Disc Box Set
Imma sit back and relax on Halloween, watch my favorite monsters. Then after I’ve had enough of watching my parents fight Imma watch this The Classic Monster Coffin Blu-Ray Collection – 8 Disc Box Set. This is really the first time anything good has ever come out of a coffin. Except for that time I stole my uncle Henry’s rolex at the viewing.
This set gives you Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, Bride of Frankenstein and The Wolf Man.