Do ya really wanna be that guy who wears the Thanksgiving Roasted Turkey Hat on Thanksgiving? Why the hell not? I spend my holidays alone basting my turkey all day anyway. What? If ya don’t do it often, your bird gets dry. I’ve had a lot of practice so I’m a basically a master-baster. Hell, I’ll master-baste all day long if no one stops me. Now I have a sweet hat to wear while doing it.
Author: Artemis Winterford
Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set
Is there anything more appetizing than a slimy Facehugger attaching itself to your face and giving you a big hug? Of course not. That’s why you need this Facehugger Appetizer 3-Piece Set. Your hors d’oeuvres will taste so much better when dangling under an alien killer.
Okay, how many of you said “whores de-vores” in your head and giggled? Me too. Now let’s serve up some tiny weenies and cheese cubes cuz food is the best facehugger ever.
Zombie Mickey And Minnie Mouse Tea-Light Holders
These Zombie Mickey And Minnie Mouse Tea-Light Holders show the true undead faces of this Disney couple. Put some candles in their heads and set the mood. A dark and horror-themed mood, with you dining alone on some Mac and Cheese…with two zombie mice staring at you. Ready to kill. Yet they never do, night after horror-filled night.
Sorry. My future just flashed before my eyes.
Ouija Board Coffee Table And Carpet
Sadly I can’t buy this cool Ouija Board Coffee Table And Carpet design, but if I could, I would wait patiently for Mormons, Jehovah’s Witness’ and other assorted door to door creepers, and invite them in. Yes you can tell me all about Jesus. Sit and have some coffee. I’ll go brew some.
*Flicks switch, activating the ghostly voices in the hidden speaker system. Also grabs the remote control which activates the wheels I installed on the planchette. Watches on the monitor as I make it spell out G-E-T…T-H-E…F**K…O-U-T!*
They run screaming.
That was fun. Now to post it to YouTube.
Puppet Head And Hands Taxidermy Trophies
I’m really digging these Puppet Head And Hands Taxidermy Trophies, but I want to request a Tickle Me Elmo version, to see what Elmo would look like after I tickled him with a shotgun out in the wild. I’d also like to see some of those Fraggle Rock dudes mounted on my wall. Puppets and I have a weird history. A weird and bloody history. *Shudders.*
The seller has several. But no Elmo damnit! They make great coat racks. Things are creeping me out.
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