Author: Artemis Winterford

Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props

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Disney Haunted Mansion dining table props
I’ve never been to your fancy Disneyland or Disney World. Probably because your parents were cooler than mine. So I have no idea what all the fuss is over the Haunted Mansion, but judging by these Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props, the ghosts are eating better than I am.

I’m gonna set the table and wait for the ghosts. Then when they come, me and Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and the rest of the Ghostbusters are gonna let them have it. I’ll probably get slimed. I typed “slimmed” at first, but that ain’t happening. If ghosts caused weight loss, Elvira would be the Jenny Craig spokesperson holding meetings at haunted houses.
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Baby Doll Head Leggings

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Baby Doll Leggings
Dear God in heaven! In the name of all that is holy, those are some hauntingly creepy Baby Doll Head Leggings. It’s like a portal to hell opened up and they all came spilling out! I can hardly even look at their faces. Fun fact: I am so disturbed I almost typed, “I can hardly look at their feces”. That would actually be preferable to these demonic doll heads.

If you look real close some of them look like they have butt-heads. God help us all. The demon doll head invasion has begun!

Skeleton Platform Boots

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skeleton boots
Get your bones in these Skeleton Platform Boots and tower over everyone else while showing the world your skeletal feet. They say SWEAR on the side so I just cursed my butt off. Nah. I lied. Just like after every workout my butt is still there.

Well, I did kind of swear when I saw these. I was all like, “F**kity f**k that’s a cool pair of boots! I gotta show the creepers.” Then I stubbed my toe and went on a 2 minute swear-rant that ended with me washing my own mouth out with soap. If there’s one thing I can’t abide, it’s a potty mouth. I hate having to do it, but how else will I learn?
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Off-Road Commode Truck Hitch Toilet Seat

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off road commode
The Off-Road Commode Truck Hitch Toilet Seat turns your hillbilly pickup into a dump truck. As in you can attach this thing to your truck hitch and sit on it and take a dump. Seriously. Check out the image below for proof.

It will hold up to 500 pounds. Cuz any hillbilly over 500 pounds isn’t going to be out in the middle of nowhere anyway. That guy’s gonna be chilling with a beer and a big barrel of cheese balls and not care where he dumps his cargo. Enjoy the bonus demo video.
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