Awesome Cthulhu Themed Hair Clips

Awesome Cthulhu Themed Hair Clips
Let Cthulhu run his tentacles through your hair. These Cthulhu Themed Hair Clips and accessories from TheCuriousCogsmith are perfect for Lovecraft fans. So put some tentacles and eyes in your hair. Everyone will know you are Cthulhu’s girl, because now you are marked.

People like me would approach to flirt with you,but then we’ll see that hair clip and be all like, “Nope. Don’t need to be killed by Cthulhu, whether you are aware that you are his bride or not. Laterz. By the way, your hair looks awesome. Just sayin”
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Glow in the Dark Skeleton Clutch

Glow in the Dark Skeleton Clutch
Here I go again, coming through for you in the clutch. Even if I don’t know what that means. I just wanted to do something clever with the word clutch, aside from being told not to grind it because I’m used to driving an automatic. Anyway, check this out girls. This is a Glow in the Dark Skeleton Clutch. It’s got skeletal ribs on the front and feet with legs in the back. It also glows in the dark like that lasagna I accidentally left in the microwave overnight. The plus side is that that dinner now powers my house like lasagna-plutonium.

Anyway are you the sexy lady that can pull off this creepy cool clutch and look oh so sexy? I say yes because you got it going on girl! Get down wit yo bad self!
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Real Insect Jewelry: Beetle Necklaces

Real Insect Jewelry Beetle Necklaces
Check out these Beetle Necklaces. These beetles are pretty colorful. Apparently they are also called Weevils, because God forbid you have one easy word for an insect. Stupid scientists and bug nerds!

Evel Knievel was an evil weevil who liked to paint on an easel, and everyone thought he was a weasel. Yay! I made words rhyme. I’m just awesome like that. Did I do good? Can I have a treat daddy? Since I am my own daddy, I say yes. I may have a bag of Cheetos. Awesome. I love you daddy. I know.

Much like the Beatles when wearing Sgt. Pepper uniforms, these beetles are all bright and colorful. And just like two of the four Beatles, these beetles are stuck in their own little coffins for eternity. If I was a Beatle, it would be Paul. Because the Walrus was Paul. Later peeps. There’s a bag of Cheetos with my name on them. Probably because I take a sharpie to the supermarket and autograph everything.
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These Winnie The Pooh Face Masks Are Nightmare Fuel

These Winnie The Pooh Face Masks Are Nightmare Fuel
When you think Winnie the Pooh, you think cute and cuddly right? Or if you’re immature like me you just hear the word pooh and giggle behind your hand like a Japanese schoolgirl. Well, this new line of officially licensed Winnie the Pooh ‘relaxation masks’ are creeping people the hell out. Relaxation? The only thing these masks relax is my spastic colon, making me mess my pants. These terror inducing masks look like something a serial killer would wear.

No way I’m sleeping tonight. Gonna be seeing this behind my eyelids all day. Posting pictures of yourself wearing these masks has become a thing in Japan. You can probably find them online, cuz I can’t look at any more. I took a nap earlier and saw woke up in a cold sweat just as these freaks were raising their knives to me in my dream. I say dream. I mean nightmare of epic proportions.

via Neatorama

Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses

Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses
Whoa! Who’s that cat-eyed vixen walking down the street so sexy and sure of herself? It could be you! That’s who! Imagine yourself all cattin’ around and battin’ around with these Bats & Black Pearls Cat Eye Sunglasses. Looking like the cat who ate the canary- Wait. Is that really yellow feathers on the side of your mouth? Dissss-gusting girl!

What exactly are you hiding behind those sunglasses? Oh I see. The bright red eyes of a bird-eating vampire. Well, I guess you have to get blood where you can find it. Come to think of it, you’re talking to a whole bag full of blood right now. *gulp* *Loosens collar nervously. Come to think of it- Tightens it again* Yeah, it was nice meeting you. Heh. I’ll just- I have stuff to do. For people who know where I am and are expecting me. Heh. Good luck on your feeding. *Zips away like a cartoon*
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