Category: Creepy Dolls

Scary Tapping Peeper

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tapping peeper
Jeepers creepers, why is this guy going all peepers and looking in my window and tapping on the glass? *Screams like a girl in the full throws of beatlemania, puts hands to face and falls over fainting.* Beatlemania. It was a thing. Look it up.

Damn this Tapping Peeper is scary. Scarier than that other one we featured awhile back. This one taps on the glass so you will jump right out of your skin, call the cops and then grab the shotgun and every knife in the kitchen, run back in the room and see it again, then have a heart attack.

Tapping Peeper. *Giggles* Sounds dirty. I’d tap that. With my peeper.
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Val Kilmer Paper Doll

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val kilmer paper doll
You loved him in Willow. You hated him in Batman. Now is your chance to dress Val Kilmer up anyway you like and make him look like a sissy-boy thanks to this Val Kilmer Paper Doll.

Just like mom did to me. Sadly, some of that stuff looks like it came from my closet, but whatevs. I look way better in that striped “smock”. It’s not a dress. It’s a smock. For a schmuck.

Have Val Kilmer in the palm of your hand with this unique paper doll set. Perching a hat, or a bow on his head, and marvel at how softly his hair falls on his shoulders. Explore his body with two dimensional dresses, slacks and bathing suits. With so many outfits and accessories to choose from, you’ll be wishing you and Val wore the same size.
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Hypno And Slutzo The Clowns

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Hypno And Slutzo The Creepy Clowns
Check out Hypno and Slutzo. Sounds like a demented Vegas Clown act. Step right up ladies and germs. Hypno will control your mind and Slutzo will do unspeakable things to you. You’ll laugh, you’ll scream. You’ll cry your eyes out and wish to pluck them from your skull.

Hypno is 7 feet tall and creepy as f**k. He holds some kind of hypnotizing wand that flashes crazy colors as he talks about how he loves children. Don’t believe me? Check out the video below. Slutzo is self explanatory. Both are scary and evil as hell. You can’t unsee them.
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Spider Baby Plush Toys

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Spider Baby Plush Toys
The spider babies are coming! The spider babies are coming! This is gonna require some king sized fly swatters! Like those huge wood spatulas they use for getting pizza out of the oven. Bring out your biggest boots and start stomping. These hairy-backed and baby-headed Spider Baby Plush Toys from scrumptiousdelight are pure nightmare fuel.

*Sees baby in a stroller all swaddled up in a blanket. baby head and top hat sticking out.* Awwww. Aren’t you a cute baby. Is that 8 ribs I see under your blanky-wanky? *Opens blanket. Sees eight legs.* SPIDER BABY! *Runs away screaming. Web hits me in the back. Spins me into a cocoon.*

*Wakes up an hour later on the sidewalk next to rows of other cocooned humans.* Spider baby? Me too. I hate spider babies!
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Pee & Poo Plush Dolls Are Best Buds

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pee & poo plush toys
Pee and Poo. They’re a stinky bowl of best buds. Aren’t these Pee & Poo Plush Dolls cute? Hug ’em, squeeze ’em, rub ’em, against each other and see what rubs off. If they are anything like the real thing, you’ll play with the pee several times a day and be lucky to see poo once every other and he’ll make it really difficult for you to let him go.

It’s the only acceptable way to play with pee and poo, so go for it. All of your other toys will be disgusted.
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