Category: Creepy Dolls

Dead Doll In A Coffin

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

dead doll in a coffinTurn your dollhouse into a funeral home with this $61. dead doll in a coffin.

Dolly was a good doll. Even though she was a simple woman, she enjoyed retreats to Barbie’s more upscale Malibu beach home and never complained when little Sally made her make out with Ken, straining her relationship with her old friend Barbie. She never got over their falling out. Dolly was found on the top floor of her victorian dollhouse, swinging from the rafters. A note was left on a miniature table beside her. It was too small to read.

Sad story.
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Creepy Baby Doll Head String Lights

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Creepy Baby Doll Head String LightsEtsy seller PrimAndGrim obviously has a real soft spot for making weird stuff. You know who else has a soft spot? Each one of those baby dolls. That’s where she jammed the lights into their heads. Now she probably hangs this string of brightly lit, decapitated rugrats up in her studio and performs weird Etsy rituals that summon buyers who have a taste for the strange.

I had a taste for the strange once. Wife solved that by clubbing me over the head a few hundred times. Now I only have eyes for her. That was a bonus true love story. Now I have a soft spot too.
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This Sexy Beast Is A Real Fuggler

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fugglerNo, really. That’s what Etsy seller cathairandteeth calls these mutant creations. Fugglers. I call it a snuggly fugly. He’s just chillin’ in his underwear, letting the ladies see what he’s packing. Knowing he’s a hunky man-stud.

I’ll have you know, I was rocking the short, stubby and toothy, underwear look before it was popular. It’s all about comfort. And not doing laundry.
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Avatar Sequel Details Leak: It’s All About Avatar Babies!

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

avatar reborn babyNah. No news to report. I just like to make a big deal of things when I see a crazy-weird and creepy little Avatar baby, who looks like he will grow up to rip the flesh off my nerdy skeletal frame. It is a reborn doll, meaning that an artist created it to look scary real and keep me awake at night. He’s available on Etsy for $145. from lunatoonyweeones. Click through for more images of the artist’s mad scientist-type creations.

Ahhh. Isn’t he cute? Who’s the cute little baby Na’vi? Who’s the cutest wittle Na’vi? I got your nose. Got your nose. HOLY EFFIN JAMES T. KIRK CAMERON, HE BIT MY THUMB OFF! SOMEBODY GET HIM TO BURP IT UP! I AM SO RAPING YOUR PLANET FOR RESOURCES!
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Are You My Mummy?: Apocalypse Doll With Gas Mask And Antlers

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

apocalypse dollYou gotta be ready for the apocalypse. For adult humans that means knowing all the stuff that Mad Max knows how to do. Siphon gas, open cans with rocks, start fires with a stick and most importantly knowing how to run like hell when gangs of zombies or dudes in hockey masks chase you for your flesh and goods.

To be apocalypse ready, little baby dolls just need a gas mask and some antlers. Because baby dolls don’t need to do much in the apocalypse, besides look tough, while their owner tucks them under their arm while running, or sets them down beside them on a cliff side while taking a sniper shot at some other dude.

We will all be crazy and crazy people talk to dolls. The antlers make a good carrying handle. Only $135.

“Move your booties. We got company!”