Category: Creepy Dolls

Bowling Zombies Wooden Novelty Game

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Bowling Zombies Wooden Novelty GameThis Bowling Zombies Wooden Novelty Game looks like a fun way to spend a Friday night. Better than how I usually spend it, crying at the foot of a large Scarlett Johansson poster with a bottle of whiskey and rolling a D20 in the corner, wishing I had some friends to play D and D with.

Stupid “friends”. You get drunk one time and level your character up to a Sexy Stripper/Wizard street walker, with a resistance to Orc Pimp b*tch slaps and suddenly you are shunned like an Amish butter churner who showed a bit of ankle. It probably didn’t help that this took place at my sister’s women’s gaming group.

Oh yeah, this zombie game looks like some serious undead fun. Stack ’em up and knock ’em down. The problem is, the undead get right back up. You are in for a long night of Zombie bowling my friend.
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Bone Jet (Joan Jett) Figure

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bone jetIt’s Bone Jet. And she really has a bone to pick with that guitar. This figure moves and the eyes light up. I saw her in concert once. Awesome show. The set list was great. She played:

I”mmmm a bag of bones,
Put another dime in the jukebox baby.

Followed by one from her days with the Runaways:

Hello Daddy, Hello Mom
I need some Ca ca ca calcium

Awesome night, but she’s getting older now. The last song was nothing but creaky joints that replaced the guitar.*Ow! My hip! I knew I shouldn’t have made fun of her.*

Be a Hellraiser: Adopt This Pinhead Jr Doll

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pinheadIt’s baby Hellraiser! If you want a problem child, here ya go. You’ll have more problems than you know what to do with. He probably likes to twist the heads off of stuffed animals and raise hell in general, hence his name. He doesn’t like balloons near his head for obvious reasons. If you happen to sew, he doubles as a really cranky pin-cushion too. Looks look he even comes with his own bottle of hell-brewed liquor.
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Gender Doubting Thomas Puppet

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

creepy hand puppetYes, it is too late to claw your eyes out and un-see this monstrosity. It is called Gender Doubting Thomas. The seller is right, this may just be the creepiest puppet on earth. Is it a man or a woman. Don’t know. Don’t care. I just need it to go away and get out of my head now. From the seller:

“Under this chubby, sweaty, and hairy exterior beats the heart of a little girl…
Details include a creepy comb-over with real hair, chest hair, the bloody hand prints of tiny hands.

He/she is hand cast in latex, hand painted and the multi-layered costume is hand cut, distressed and sewn. A fully functional hand puppet is ready to emotionally scar someone for life.”

It already has. It already has.
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Dinosaurs Wearing Makeup And Jewelry

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dino princessEtsy seller FrivolousForest offers all kinds of sweet painted ladies. Of the extinct variety. She makes dinosaurs sexy and Princess-like by putting all kinds of makeup and jewelry on them. Damn girl, you looking good. I’m gonna come down on you like an extinction level event.

These ladies are keeping it all classic in the Jurassic. Click through for more.
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