Open up and say ahhh you ugly MFer! Just gonna put my spoon down here. Gonna press it against your tongue all doctor like and check for ugly. Yeah you’re ugly alright. I don’t have a prescription for that, but I can give you some morphine so you forget and remove all of the mirrors in your house. These Gross Monster Spoon Rests are gross and grody and gag me with a spoony.
These Skeleton Door Handles are awesome. Just grab some spine and come on in. It’s perfect for a chiropractors office. If you want customers to turn away the minute they get to the door that is. It must have been back-breaking work to create these. If I pull too hard on these, I’m not responsible for any slipped discs right? If I break these spines while opening the door, am I gonna be charged for breaking (spines) and entering? Okay, cool. I’m coming in.
Frightprops makes Talking Zombie Skull Skins that attach to their talking skulls and transform them into the stuff of nightmares. Check out the video below to see it in action as it talks in a weird accent. Just slip the skin over the skull and you are good to go for scaring the bejesus out of people. Slip me some skin bro! Was that inappropriate and mean to zombies? I have no idea. Fine, don’t slip me some skin. See if I care.
Go ahead and check out the video. Then go ahead and buy one to create zombie life and feel like a God!
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Say you want to be a crazy cat lady, but instead of a host of furry felines, all you have is a smooth skinned baby. No worries. You can turn that baby into a cat with the Baby Cat Cocoon and start practicing for when you have a hundred cats one day. Don’t forget to neglect your hygiene and eat plenty of lean cuisine and healthy choice frozen dinners. That shizz is mandatory for any crazy cat lady. And never address your child in English ever again. Instead meow at them and rub their tummy and stuff.
Yeah, Mars tried to attack, until we started decapitating the little freaks and displaying their severed heads in trophy cases. Then they tucked their Martian tails(Or whatever. Maybe Martian weens) between their legs and flew home. At least, I’m guessing that’s how a Martian invasion would go down. Murica! This Mars Attacks Alien Skull will make an alien think twice about messing with you. Cuz Murica!
They say Marica. We say Murica! But they don’t say nuffin with no dag gum head! *Spits tobacco*
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