Category: Just Plain Weird

Evil Clown Pillow

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Evil Clown Pillow
Do you want a good night’s sleep or a good nightmare sleep? Guess which one you’re gonna get if you rest your head on this Evil Clown Pillow? If you guessed terrifying dreams that jar you awake every few minutes, complete with sleep paralysis and a lifetime of PTSD, you guessed correctly. It’s pretty terrifying.

I think I’ll pass on this one. I already have an evil clown pillow. It was that one night stand from last week that slept over and left all her makeup on my pillow in the morning. She looked great in the morning sun. The face she left behind on the pillow? Not so much. I had to wait for her to drift off again so I could stealthily look in her purse and check her driver’s license. I just wanted to make sure her name wasn’t Bozo, Bimbo, Bingo or Zippy.

*Shudders*

Etsy seller creatureog has all kinds of cool pillows, not just clowns. Check them out.

Good Ol’ Menstrual Cycle Poster

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Good Ol' Menstrual Cycle Poster
Check out this Good Ol’ Menstrual Cycle Poster. It shows the entire cycle and explains what’s going on. My poster would have been way different. It would start with a bunch of cramping and end with a woman chasing me with a knife, while clutching a box of bon-bons in the other hand and cradling a gallon of ice cream in the crook of her arm. Then when she caught me, she would slice me on the arm just to mark me, then tell me how much she loves me and how sorry she is. Then 28 days later we would repeat it all over again. Isn’t nature wonderful?

Thanks for the tip Calyn.

Coffin Shaped Footstool: For If Your Feet Are Dead Tired

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Coffin Shaped Footstool For If Your Feet Are Dead TiredMan, my feet are dead tired. Time to lay these puppies out, embalm ’em and put ’em to rest on this Coffin Shaped Footstool. I’m a little worried for their tortured soles though. Shhhhhhh! You just hush puppies. Rest now. Go to a better place. All of your old shoes will be there to greet you.
Read more “Coffin Shaped Footstool: For If Your Feet Are Dead Tired”

Clown Skull – Bozo’s Bones

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Clown Skull - Bozos BonesHave you ever wanted to see what a clown skull looks like? No need to drag a circus clown in front of an X-Ray machine… Well, maybe there is, since that’s always fun. Anyway, check out this cool clown cranium. I always thought that nose was a foam attachment. I guess you are either born a clown or you’re just clowning around.

Fun fact: I was the class clown in school. We all were. It was clown college. I dropped out to pursue a mime career. I was known as “Silent But Deadly- the farting mime”. Hard to make money though, when no one wants to come close enough to drop money in your hat.

Hair Of The Sasquatch

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Hair Of The Sasquatch
Hows about a little hair of the Sasquatch? I’ve tried to get a sample of bigfoot hair myself, out in the wild, but every time I find some, the lab tests identify it as monkey pubes or whatever. Big foot is really hard to catch. I can’t even get any evidence on them. That Bigfoot probably grabbed a monkey and rubbed it on a tree just to throw me off his scent.

Anyway, you can get yourself some Sasquatch hair that has been preserved in glass. Alright, I’m gonna take a chance and get it. Better not be pubes again.