Category: Just Plain Weird

Cockroach Dinnerware: No Thanks, I just Ate!

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Cockroach Dinnerware
Cockroaches will survive a nuclear apocalypse, these pieces of Cockroach Dinnerware from Etsy seller foldedpigs will at least survive the radiation from your microwave, so that you will always have creepy crawly tableware.

You can get insect infested plates, cups, bowls and more. Hell, my dinnerware already looks like this. I’ll put up a DIY so you can do it too, but basically just live in a pig sty and throw food everywhere. Then let it all bloom over a couple of months. By bloom I mean get moldy and stinky.
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Screaming Skull Shelf

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Screaming Skull Shelf
Check out this Screaming Skull Shelf. He’s all like,”PUT SOME BOOKS ON ME! NOW! DO IT NOW! I NEED KNICK-KNACKS! I NEED IT NOW!” Damn son, calm yourself.

Two hours later. *Trying to sleep with a pillow over my head. Listening to the screaming.* I NEED A FLOWERPOT FOR MY SKULL. DECORATE ME NOW! DO IT NOW! I HAVE BECOME ONE WITH THE WALL. YOU WILL NEVER BE RID OF ME. I NEED A SMALL VASE!

Two hours after that. *Ding-Dong* Hello sir, we got a report of screaming coming from these premises. *Points to the skull shelf on the wall.*

OFFICER, GET ME A FRAMED PICTURE. DO IT NOW. GET ME ANYTHING! I MUST BE COMPLETE! A FISH BOWL! NOW!

Why do you always have these problems sir?

*Shrugs* You know I like to buy weird stuff. This stuff is weird. Stuff happens.

MAGAZINE PILES! NEED! DO IT NOW!

*Cop walks in. Grabs some books off a desk and puts them on the shelf. Shelf shuts the hell up at last, breathing heavy and relaxing.*

I AM COMPLETE! *Shelf falls asleep, snoring.*

*Cop looks at me.* Please stop buying this weird stuff, sir!

Cthulhu Cat And Owl Cat Figurines

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cthulhu owl and cat
Cthulhu Cat and Owl Cat. These best mutant buds are cops that make their own rules. One is a loose cannon, the other is two weeks from retirement. And Cthulhu cat is getting too old for this shizz. These are the cats of the future right here. Fukushima was just the beginning. Felines are gonna evolve in all kinds of crazy ways. Just like my cat has evolved to eat all of the food off of my plate if I walk away for a minute. That’s a bad fluffy.

If you want something even weirder, the seller will make one just for you. Although I don’t know what’s weirder than H.P. Furcraft and Meow-Owl over here.
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Raven Walking People On A Leash

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Raven Walking People On A Leash
Let this be a cautionary tale. Within 100 years it will be the giant ravens, not the robots who will take over. That’s when we will see scenes like this Raven Walking People On A Leash. It will probably carry a bag and scoop to pick up our poop. I don’t know about you, but I plan on leaving huge steaming piles.Hey, we all resist however we can. There’s no right way to win this fight.

If I am well taken care of and fed and petted softly, and given treats, that could go a long way toward distracting these beasts. Doesn’t mean I’m a traitor. So what if I am so well behaved that I’m let out of my cage more often than you? Just doing my part. I guess what I’m saying is that I welcome our new Raven overlords.

Gets in cage right now and waits for the Raven apocalypse. I’m ready for my walkies!
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Santa Clops Ornament

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Santa Clops Ornament
You better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout. I’m telling you why. Santa Clops is coming to town. He’s making a list. And checking it twice. He has to check it twice, he only has one eye. Which explains why my gifts are never under the tree and why I wake up on Christmas morning to find half my sh*t broken. His depth perception sucks. Plus he’s a drunk. Either that or he just likes taking a dump in the fireplace.

If you like your Santa ornaments ugly and mutated, this blown glass ornament from Middle of Beyond is for you.

via The Awesomer