Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box

Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box
This Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street Coffin Box reminds me of that time I pranked Freddy, putting the glue on the coffin box and waiting for him to put his hand down. Good times. He was so mad, slashing everywhere and cursing. Just smacking stuff instead of slashing it. Dude invaded my dreams for a week, but he couldn’t stay mad at me.

Now Jason Voorhees. That dude can’t take a joke. You paint pink flowers and My Little Ponies on one hockey mask and he’s all like, I’m gonna chop your door down with a machete and hack you to bits. What a nut. Even now a month later, I can see him outside of my window just standing there looking creepy.
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For Your Little Creeper’s Wish List: CSI Facial Reconstruction Toy

csi facial reconstruction toy
Oh yeah. The CSI Facial Reconstruction Toy is just what every kid wants. Your child of 10 years + will love reconstructing the ghastly features of crime victims, by modeling clay on the skull of a fake corpse in an attempt to reconstruct that broken face and catch a bad guy.

What do you want for Christmas little Timmy?

I want to play with a corpse face and uncover the clues of how the victim died! *Huge smile that says please! Please! Please!*

*Looks at kid* Somebody get this little creeper a therapist or something. I’m sleeping with one eye open Timmy. Get some friends ya little freak!
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Attack of the Killer Tomatoes!

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
You say tomato, I say tomatoe. Can’t we just agree that this Attack of the Killer Tomatoes sculpture looks like a grumpy old mater who lost his teeth? Of course we can. If he had a fist he would be shaking it, telling you to get out of his garden!

Plus he’s got some serious chapped lips. Thanks monsanto! Grumpy old tomatoes are just what we needed. I hope it bites my neck in the night rather than a slow death by telling me boring ass stories about when he was a kid.

Click through for a creepier pic.
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12 Chocolate Caramel Toffee Skulls

Chocolate Caramel Toffee Skulls
12 Chocolate Caramel Toffee Skulls. All around a table. The fate of one man in their hands. What will they decide? Is he innocent. Or guilty of murder? It’s so tense!

That’s 12 Angry men you idiot!

Oh. Well… You don’t know they aren’t angry. And delicious. They look like Skeletor after he fell asleep for like 10 hours in a tanning bed.

Dinosaur Bride & Groom Wedding Cake Toppers

dinosaur bride and groom cake topper
Do you take this T-Rex, in extinction and in health, till death do you part by fiery meteor shower that reigns death upon the Earth? You do? You may now kiss the bride.

These Dinosaur Bride & Groom Wedding Cake Toppers are perfect for couples who can’t hug each other due to small stubby arms. Or, you know, just people who like dinosaurs. Which reminds me, I have a Jurassic Park playset and action figures that I need to get back to. Laterz!
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