Tag: art

Needle Felted Grumpy Goblin

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Grumpy GoblinThis cute and grumpy $80 needle felted goblin is inspired by Brian Froud’s goblin drawings. You know, the conceptual designer behind classic movies like Labyrinth and The Dark Crystal.

Why so serious Grumpy Goblin? Probably because you are so easy to kill in RPGs. Even if you roll a 1, a critical fail, you can basically trip over your sword and still slash goblins to pieces. Ha ha. You suck. Any relation to grumpy cat? You guys probably attend the same grump-anger management meetings. Nothing? Not even gonna talk? Ahhh. You’re so cute! Who’s the cute one? Who’s the cute grumpy gus? Who’s the-

NO!

*Launches himself at my throat and tears in like a grumpy little weed whacker.*
Read more “Needle Felted Grumpy Goblin”

Disturbing Doll Head Candleholder Centerpiece

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

doll head centerpieceHow’s this for a creepy centerpiece? Only on Etsy could you stick a doll’s head between two candles and call it a centerpiece. Maybe for dinner in hell. If you ever find yourself in the fiery depths of hades, you are sure to see this centerpiece on some table so that the likes of Hitler and Josef Mengele can admire it as they eat bowl after steaming bowl of s**t soup for all eternity.

I for one don’t need any demented Toddlers and Tiaras on my dinner table. Can you imagine the foul demons this thing would summon when lit up? Now I’m gonna have nightmares.
Read more “Disturbing Doll Head Candleholder Centerpiece”

Ancient Alien Elongated Skull

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

ancient elongated alien skullThis ancient alien skull may be from a real alien. It also could have been formed by a process called “boarding” where they used boards to elongate the head. My theory? I think ancient women just put their kids in a nest and sat on them to keep them warm. If you get your skull crushed between two ancient woman butt cheeks, you are going to have a cone head. That and you are gonna smell like ancient woman farts.

Sadly, we don’t have the fart testing technology to prove my theory, but we do have the technology to buy this replica online for $90.
Read more “Ancient Alien Elongated Skull”

Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama In A Can

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

twin peaks dioramaEtsy seller Boxartig is selling this cool Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama which comes in a fancy can. Pretty neat. If you want to relive some scenes from the classic show, it beats hiring a dwarf and pumping him full of acid so he dances around, snapping his fingers while talking backwards.
Read more “Twin Peaks Red Room Diorama In A Can”

Nicolas Cage As Pokemon – Cage Them All: Starter Pack

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Nicolas Cage As PokemonEtsy seller jbellzamyy is a Pokemon Master. Don’t believe me? Go to the Etsy shop and see for yourself. The seller has caught every Nicolas Cage Pokemon imaginable and now you can collect them all and get seizures from the cartoon or whatever it is you kids do.

There are all kinds of Cage Pokemon available. Gotta Cage them all. Here is a sweet deal on a starter pack. Get some of these and soon you’ll be trading them with your friends and stealing from your mom’s purse to feed your crazy nerd habit.