Tag: art

Freaky High Five: Frankenhand

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FrankenhandIt’s Frankenhand. Give me five. Now down low. You’re too slow. Talk to the Frankenhand, cuz the Franken-face doesn’t understand! This $79 monster hand from Etsy seller StarvedRavenMad wants to be your new best friend. His mouth is all stitched up, so he won’t talk much. Just kinda look at you with those sad eyes, wishing he could eat.

As you can see, he makes a great jewelry holder. And if your spouse doesn’t like it, they can always put a glove on it. Click through to see more images.
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Jabba The Hutt Barfing Fine Art Print

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Jabba The Hutt PukingYeah, this will happen when you eat one too many space frogs after partying all night in your palace and betting on Rancor fights. Star Wars fans who enjoy seeing the fattest thing in the Star Wars universe puking his guts out, will want to hang this fine art print in a prominent place in their home. It’s only $17. Maybe you can put it next to that Star Wars: Jesus Dress Up toy that you have displayed.

Just an observation, but, there is no way that toilet is supporting his big fat Hutt ass.

Etsy seller LegendaryTigerHero has all kinds of other weird and awesome art prints too. Click through for a bonus Batman puking his guts out.
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Cthulhu Glory Hole: Wall Tentacle Sculpture

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cthulhu tentacleThis wall tentacle sculpture or as I like to call it, Cthulhu glory hole, is pretty awesome. Cthulhu can stick his stuff through it while you rub lotion on his suckered tentacles or whatever. It’s perfect for those guys who like to play that suffocation game too. Just put the bag over your head and let the tentacles tighten around your neck. Good times.(Not really. Never try that at home. Trust me on that one. Cthulhu has a super kung-fu grip.)

Jules Verne had to go 20,000 leagues under the sea for that kind of action(since it’s not acceptable behavior), while you can have it in your home for just $3,500.00.

Click through for more images.
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Bigfoot Vs. Alligator Painting

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

bigfoot paintingDamn. Bigfoot is in trouble. He’s taking on an Alligator and getting his leg bitten off. Big mistake. Everyone knows that Alligators love Bigfoot meat. Why do you think you can’t find Bigfoot? Because they are in the stomachs of Alligators. That’s why.

It’s the same reason you can’t find Doritos in my town. Cause I already got em. Better luck next time son. Many a man has lost his hand to my snapping jaws as he reached for a bag of Cool Ranch. They had that same look on their face as Bigfoot has here. Nacho day fool!

See what I did there? Doritos make everything awesome and keep bloggers fed for like weeks. Where’s my insulin? Whatevs. Probably in the bottom of this bag. I’ll let you know.

Vampire Vs. The Moon Painting

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vampire vs moonIt’s the titan of Transylvania versus the mighty moon. Fight! This painting depicts the ultimate showdown between the mythical vampire and our very own orbiting satellite. Just look at that vampire staring out his window and raging at the moon.

*Heavy Transylvania accent* “I curse you moon. You are made of cheese and are only good for the jumping of cows to leap over. Come at me bro. You are pock-marked like the face of a zitted teen.”

“Shut your fanged mouth Vlad, before I go all FULL on your ass and send some Werewolves to pay you a visit. You just trippin’. That’s why they call you Vlad the Inhaler. Nice pajama cape BTW.”

“How dare you? Shut your moon mouth. Why must I spend all my nights with you? My fist I shake at you, glowing demon. Leave me be to prowl the night!”

“Whatevs. Freak. Whatever you do, I’m here watching. Haha. I own the night!”

“No. I own the night! …But I will now close the curtains and own the night in this way.”*sighs*