Octo Glow Lamp

Octo Glow Lamp
Oh look an Octo Glow Lamp that looks like a relic you can worship. *Kneeling before my 8 tentacled new master.* What is thy bidding my master? *Head lights up as it communicates with my mind and puts me in a trance.* Yesssss. But of course. *Returns a few minutes later with a brown M and M. Places it before him.* My offering my master.

Yessss. Of course I will buy bacon and beer in celebration of your greatness. Was gonna do that anyway. I think you and I will get along great. *Pets it’s glowing head.*

3D Printed Frankenstein Light Switch Plate

3D Printed Frankenstein Light Switch Plate
It’s alive! Alive! I don’t know about you, but I could never be a mad scientist and re-animate dead corpses. Like Ronnie James Dio, when I see lightning, it always brings me down. But it’s fun to pretend that you are creating a monster. Unlike my parents who skipped pretending and went straight for the horror.

Anywho, with every flick of this 3D Printed Frankenstein Light Switch Plate, you will feel like a God creating life. Or you know, at least a God turning the light on in the crapper.

Calamityware: Disastrous Dinner Plates

Calamityware Disastrous Dinner Plate Dishes
You know those old plates that your grandmother had? The ones with the cobalt blue patterns, with floral designs and landscapes? These are like those plates. Only cooler. Don Moyer creates this line of Calamityware dinner plates. They have all kinds of weird and disaster type themes like flying monkeys, a UFO attack, giant robots and giant sea monsters.

See grandma! My plates are way cooler! Even if I can’t feed myself cuz I’m an adult man-baby. Where’s my mac and cheese already?
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Dragon Shoulder Companion

shoulder riding dragon
Is that a dragon on your shoulder or are you just happy to see me? Maybe a little of both, since I’m always happy to see someone with a plate full of french fries. *Grabs a bunch. Feeds some to my Dragon Shoulder Companion and stuffs the rest in my mouth. Sits down across from my dragon-less friend.*

Yes you can take my order. I’ll have enough raw meat for two. *Waits. Meat arrives* Do your thing Drago! *Dragon shrieks and breaths fire, cooking our meat and burning my dragon-less friend to a crisp. Everyone runs for the door.*

So how have you been? You’re looking a bit ashen. Why so quiet? *Taps him on the shoulder. Burnt jaw falls to the table.* Time to get out of here Drago. Bad Drago. Our dead friend is not food. C’mon we gotta stay one step ahead of the law. And the fire department.
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Eye Necklace

Eye Necklace
I’m gonna give this Eye Necklace to my wife so she can say what she always says. “Hey, my eyes are up here. Wait-!”

“That’s right, your eyes are in fact just where I was looking! Ha! Now I can look at boobs and your eyes at the same time. I win! I have found a way around that age old response!”

“Really? Have you found a way to pull your balls back out of your stomach after I kick them?”

“Uh. Not yet. Let me get on that and get back to you.”

“And stop looking at my eyes!”