Tag: awesome

Tentacle Porthole Lamp

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Tentacle Porthole Lamp
There’s a tentacle in my porthole. That sounds like a personal problem to me. Maybe while it’s in there it can give you a checkup. Why you- This post brought to you by the letter V. For the voices. In my head.

Now that the meds have kicked in and everything is going smoothly, I present to you this Tentacle Porthole Lamp. It’s as if a giant Kraken attacked a ship and was nice enough to bring it’s own light for you to die by. This thing is realistic as hell. I feel like I’ve been slimed just by looking at it. This is gonna look awesome in that Kraken themed room I’ve been planning. I have a lot of work to do. Better get Kraken!
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Dragon Lawn Flamingos

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dragon flamingo
Lawn flamingos are soooo 1950s trailer park. These days it’s all about dragons. Because dragons are awesome and breath fire and fly through the sky like they own that shizz. Cuz they do. I’ve seen the deed. You don’t mess with dragons. That’s why you should decorate your yard with these Dragon Lawn Flamingos from Etsy seller CedarMoon.

I just ordered like 5. I’m using them as bait. I’m hoping it will attract that chick from Game of Thrones. She’ll see them in my yard and be all like, “OMG dragons. Can I be your Queen?” I’ll be all like, “Yeah, but I only have one throne and that ain’t no game on Taco night. Cool?”
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Mirrorman Suits

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mirrorman suit
Behold the mighty Mirrorman! His super power? Reflecting every got-damnned thing with his suit. He is the ultimate “I’m rubber, you’re glue. Whatever you throw bounces off me and sticks to you!” superhero. Light. Check. Images. Check. Hammer. Oh man, sorry about that dude. How many tiny mirrors you got on that suit? About 1000? What’s a 1000 times 7? Oh poopy! That is A LOT of bad luck!

That suit is like a black hole of bad luck just waiting to happen. Of course it was me. Why in the HELL would you walk around with that thing? That is irresponsible on like a cosmic level! You can’t just give out that kind of atomic bomb luck!

Oh hell! Just stepped on a nail. Whew! That was close. Shoe stopped it. Anyway- *Gets hit by a football, which bounces onto a nearby car going 80. Car swerves. Hits me into Mirrorman, who cuts me like a million times and gives even more bad luck. Plus, I gotta pay for that suit now!* WTF?

Check out another suit below. Screw this guy!
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Adventure Time Pocket Plush Toys

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adventure time plush
They had me at Adventure Time, but when they told me to grab a friend, I have to admit I came up with nothin’. So I grabbed my cat and we sat through the first 4 seasons. Man that show is whacked. Fist/Paw bump! Ow! Claw me to shreds much? It’s cool, homies take care of homies. Forever!

These Adventure Time Pocket Plush Toys are plush. They fit in your pocket. Basically it’s an excuse to wear a bunch of extra pockets so each can have a home on my body. Otherwise known as the land of Ewww! All of you plushes can shut your plush hole. I’ll put deodorant on when I’m good and ready!

The seller has all kinds of cute little plushes, but I ran out of pockets after my mom sewed the 9th one on my T-shirt. Now I look like the Hollywood Squares, plush edition. Shut up Lemongrab! The answer to every question is not “Unacceptable!”
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Game Of Thrones Dragon Rings And Eggs Set

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dragon rings
Be the mother of dragons with this awesome Game Of Thrones Dragon Rings And Eggs Set. Just like Daenerys Targaryen, you will have these little dragons wrapped around your finger. Literally. And unlike Daenerys, you won’t have to worry about dragon poop, which is fiery and nasty and smells like goats. That will leave you with a smoking stump and an appreciation of dragon digestion for sure.

You get 3 Dragon Rings with their 3 Dragon Eggs which act as a kickass jewelry box for them. The divided halves of the eggs are linked by a hinged base which holds the dragon by his tail. Trust me these rings will get you noticed more than Hodor saying his name over and over again during an AA meeting. The whole set is $185.
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