*gets down on one knee. Pulls out the trusty old Raven Ring and presents it.* Nevermore!
Nevermore? What do you mean nevermore? You’ve never been more embarrassed? You’ve never been more disgusted at the prospect of a long life with me?
Nevermore!
Just take the ring. Do you have any idea how much this bird’s head cost me? You don’t love me?
Nevermore!
Screw it. That’s the last time I practice my Edgar Allen Proposal to a bird!
Read more “Raven Ring”
“The Plague Doctor will see you now.”
“Oh thank God. Hey Doc I got this- WTF! What kind of foul trick is this? Where did you get your doctorate? Perdue? Get it? Cuz your a bird faced weirdo? You gonna give me a flu shot? Let me guess. Is it the bird flu? Or the bird flew? Damn I crack myself up. You look like a flapper. Wing flapper that is! Well, you probably already gave me the plague so I’m outta here to go spread it.”
Read more “Creepy Plague Doctor Mask”
A-well-a, everybody’s heard about the bird. Bird, bird, bird, b-bird is the word. I can’t be certain, but I think the Speculum Bird has a gynecological office somewhere in LA. The ladies seem to like him, even when he is feeling peckish.
This art piece is for the birds and is apparently based on a dream the artist had. Now if you will excuse me, I have to go have a nightmare.
Ah, the miracle of life. Make that mutation. This Life-Size Needle Felted Two Headed Hatchling should serve all of your felted fowl decorative needs. Basically what we are talking about here is a felted bird fetus. With two heads. Big deal. I create these things all the time when I microwave my Easter Peeps.
Although mine don’t look like they fell out of an egg while doing the nasty. I know they’re conjoined and all, but that big guy in back looks like he is really going to town on that other one. What can a small head do, but lay there and take it? Poor guy. It’ll be over soon. Then big head will just do it again. And again. For your whole felted life. Nature can be so cruel.
Bartender! I’ll have a shot of Vodka, but only if you can serve it on top of a chicken foot with strange magical symbols on it.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the hell away from whoever made these shot glasses out of their feet. That’s why. Seems pretty obvious to me now.
Here are a set of 6 bird footed shot glasses. I wouldn’t recommend tracing those symbols with your finger. They seem all magical and dangerous. They come from Russia with love.
In mother Russia, you are not truly drunk until table filled with feet of bird!