Why would you sell a perfectly good cross made out of human hair? Do you not want to worship the Sasquatch anymore? Have you lost faith that he is out there? Whatevs. I’ll buy it. Maybe even start a church for the hairy one. Have people worship at the altar under this thing.
Until he busts up my place one day cuz I’m a no good money changer, charging people too much and selling T-shirts and fake hair samples.
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Shark attacks only go two ways. You can either be the one thrashing and getting sliced and diced or you can be the one doing the chomping. I recommend being the shark. Then again, I also recommended Preparation H to that guy at work a few years back just because he was an a**hole! That guy was my boss. He recommended I find other employment. So here I am, finding weird and cool stuff. How’s my blogging? Call 1-800-I-AM-SO-THE-MAN!
Anywho, everyone you approach with this Shark Attack Monster Mask will be afraid you are going to bite their face off. Bonus: It kinda looks like a badass shark/wizard. Be back later. I’m rolling up a new D and D character based on this thing. So what if I have to carry a staff with a sponge-end and water myself every 5 minutes. Gonna call him the Shiz-zard.
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Some toys will make your kids grow up to be doctors or carpenters, or even, god forbid, lawyers. Then some toys, like this Doctor Dreadful Alien Autopsy Toy will make your kid grow up to be…something else. I’m thinking something between a mad scientist and a serial killer.
Don’t believe me? Check out the video of this toy in action below. Complete with creepy mad scientist guy urging the kids to eat the crazy and nasty toy-food. Perform an autopsy kids. Then eat up. We can’t leave any evidence behind for Mulder and Scully to find after all. Check out how freaky this thing is.
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Not sure what to make of this Baby Doll Table Lamp With Trophy Barbie Head. He’s making a face like he has a monkey-brain, which explains why he is tearing a Barbie doll limb from limb. Anybody can do that. Barbies have so little body fat that they come apart like string cheese. So I’m not impressed.
Anyway, put some damn clothes on baby. Can you be attached to a lamp that makes me un-see things?
Um, I’ve never seen this Face Mask Gym Hoodie at my gym. Pretty sure I’d remember a hoodie that covers the bare minimum like that. It’s like a hoodie, an apron and underwear all in one piece. This guy’s all like, “I’m a ninja and I’m FAB-U-Less!!! I’ll be your spotter all day long and I won’t stop until I spot ya. Found you! Silly Goose. Now give me twenty reps or you are so in trouble!”