Tag: bizarre

Baby Head Candles: Burn Baby Burn!

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Baby Head Candles Burn Baby Burn!
Burn baby burn! Dissscccooo infernoooooo! Burn the mother down! Who says to themselves, “You know I need some candle light. Just to set the mood and chill. You know what would be good? If I could burn a candle that looked like an innocent and gentle baby’s head.”

I have no idea who says that, but these Baby Head Candles are scented too. Hopefully with scents other than “I just pooped my pants” and “I’ve been sitting in pee for an hour”. I’d use these. A baby with fire coming out of it’s head? Sign me up. That’s one hardcore and badass baby. I think it just needs a full wax body and a guitar!

Alien Stonehenge Saturn Conspiracy Theory Painting

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Alien Stonehenge Saturn Conspiracy Theory Painting
Put on your tin foil hat and stare at this Alien Stonehenge Saturn Conspiracy Theory Painting. What do you see? I see one of those lizard dudes who secretly run our world. He’s wondering if he should go to Saturn or Stonehenge, so he thinks about a poem he heard while he was a hatchling.

Saturn girls will make you hurl.
But give them a ring and they’ll wed ya.

The girls of Venus have five kinds of penis.
And they only want to behead ya.

Earth girls? They’re alright.

Then he gets in his UFO and travels to Stonehenge cuz it is an interdimensional drive thru. He just wants a burger.

Toothy Tooth Explosion Tooth Art

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Toothy Tooth Explosion
Holy molar! What happened here? It’s like a bunch of people all sneezed an atomic sneeze at the same time and blew their teeth out. That happens to me sometimes, but instead of teeth, it’s usually bits of my lunch that spray all over the place. I’m the reason the salad guard was invented. I say it adds flavor, the law says I’m now required to wear a welder’s mask at all times.

This tooth art also looks like a bunch of oldsters left their dentures on the same tray in the hot sun. Either way, I’m glad I brush my teeth. You should too guys and gals.

Game of Molars: Crown Of Teeth

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crown of teeth
When you play the game of molars, you chew or you don’t. There is no middle ground. Also… Dentures are coming!
Also…. A Lannister always pays his dentist.

This crown of teeth lets you wear some pearly whites on your head, which would feel like your head is in the mouth of some weird beast. Now you know how your food feels.

Goosh Yourself With Goosh Pants

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Goosh Yourself With Goosh Pants
Goosh. It means “The undesired oozing of any substance, such as jelly in a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.” Example: This peanut butter and jelly sandwich just gooshed all over me! Well, these Goosh Pants aren’t oozing PB and J. Looks more like truffle butter to me, but I’m no expert.

These pants are gooshing in the front and gooshing in the back. Duck duck goosh baby! Dude looks like a walking Rorschach test. That’s me by the time laundry day comes around again. I really need to have more than two pair of pants.