Tag: bizarre

Crazy Ronald McDonald Up-cycled Vinyl Record & Clock

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ronald mcdonald record clock
WTF? Did I just stumble into the McDonalds-land delivery room? Yes. Yes I did. This is a Ronald McDonald Vinyl Record & Clock. The scene being depicted is of the Clown Prince of GMO delivering what is apparently his own baby, who is already wearing a weird little rope diaper. Also a portal to hell has opened in the upper right, letting in a bunch of eyeball bats.

Raise him right Ronald. Learn from your mistakes with Grimace and the Hamburglar. Mayor McCheese was the only kid that really made something of himself. A Cheeseburger.

Awesome Alien Embroidered Patches

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alien embroidery
Are you a member of the mile high club? Let me ask a different way. Have you had an energy beam capture you and suck you up into the mothership, only to find yourself bent over a cold exam table and getting what those in the E.T. industry like to call “the business”? If you have, then yeah, you’re a member. Put some cream on that thing and get yourself some kick-butt alien patches from this Etsy shop.

These are for members only. They’re pretty funny. There’s an alien with a human head trophy, Jesus, an E.T. reading a “meat” recipe book with a human on the cover and one wearing a human for a scarf. These are gonna look sweet on that denim jacket I’ve been saving for when such things make a comeback. I think the time is right.
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Pet Paint Will Turn You Into A Real Pug-Casso

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

dog spray paint
Awwww sweet! Pet paint lets you go all graffiti artist on your dog or cat. I’m gonna wear a striped shirt and a beret while painting a renaissance revival fresco on my rottweiler. I have no idea what those words mean. I just heard them on the TV and know I should say them when talking about art. Also, don’t have a rottweiler, but that would be awesome.

Now that I know about this I am gonna paint my cat’s fur so it looks like she’s a gerbil. Then I’m gonna find Richard Gere and scare the bejesus out of him.
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Mr. T Taxidermy Mouse: B.A. Ba-Rat-Cus

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mr t rat
Whatch you want fool? This is the Mr. T Mouse. The T stands for Taxidermy fool! I pity the fool who takes a picture of me against their buttcheek!

In 1972 a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire the A-Team.

Da da da da! Da da da!

You know how they have to drug Mr. T to get him on planes? Yeah, that’s probably what they had to do to this poor mouse to give him a makeover. Man, I just wish the seller had the entire A-Team so I could annoy Mr. T mouse with Murdock mouse and put them all in the A-Team van!

Weird Baby Doll Head Lamp

Artemis Winterford1 Comment

baby doll head lamp
Wow. I knew I shouldn’t have had a kid. I leave ya alone for like five minutes and you have a light bulb in your head and you’re stitched up like a turkey. You are a real dim bulb! Nah. I’m just kidding. This isn’t mine. This is a Weird Baby Doll Head Lamp I found on Etsy. I can see my kid having a light bulb for a head, but not that fancy on/off switch in his belly button. My kid’s would be much bigger because, genetics.

This one is a smart kid though. Can’t figure out how to wear a shirt? Just find mommy’s thread and sew yourself one so you look like a Nike. Hey at least he had plenty of light to work by. Stop playing with your switch junior. No! No! Bad baby! Don’t you dim your light at me.