Zombie Toes: This Little Piggy Craved Brains

zombie toesZombie toes are just as nasty as the rest of the Zombie. Apparently Zombie toes each have little faces and mouths. Who knew? I run from Zombies, I don’t take their shoes off and inspect their undead feet. Now that I know, I am sickened and fascinated at the same time.

This little piggy killed at market, this little piggy craved brains, and this little piggy staggered all the way home moaning….I’ve seen some nasty toes in my day, but these guys are the worst. Do we know if athlete’s foot kills them? I’m gonna put ’em all in a sock and beat a Zombie in the face with ’em.

Click through for more undead toe jam mixed with funk and bone fragments.
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Anatomical Intestines Necklace

intestine necklaceKnow where your poop comes from and show everyone else, with this anatomical intestines necklace from Etsy seller beatblack. Display your intestinal issues on your neck for all to see.

Always wear your insides on your outside, that’s what I say. That’s why I have a tattoo of my colon on my shoulder, wrapped around an anchor. Gotta respect where the poop comes from.

Pair Of Real Raccoon Faces

raccoon facesWant a pair of actual Raccoon faces? Seriously, these are skinned straight from their cute little bodies and thrown on Etsy for your perusal. Only $4.95. That’s a great deal if you are into freaky animal face stuff.

Put them on your golf clubs as covers, have a creepy puppet show with them. The possibilities are really endless. Get super freaky and sew them into your own face as you wield an axe and chase others through a forest. I don’t judge. I’m just here to show you the freaky-deaky.

Can You Hear Me Now?: Body Part Earrings Make You All Ears

ear earringsThese body part earrings make quite a statement. They say, “I want- No, I NEED more ears than anyone else. But I only want to dig wax out of two of them.” These earrings are eerie. Get it? Don’t ya just lobe them?

Personal log. Stardate: who the f knows because I sleep in everyday until dark and can’t see the clock radio through the laundry pile… Speaking of ear wax, I’ve just shoved the Q-tip in too far. Again. My attempt at getting enough wax to make an ear wax candle for my Etsy shop is not going well. Not at all. And the voices in my head have started again….

Shhhhhhhh.

Nevermind. False alarm. That was just talk radio being filtered through two pairs of crusty underwear. Is something moving in that pile. *grabs a baseball bat* I’ll be back.