Tag: raccoon

Mini Roadkill Raccoon

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Mini Roadkill Raccoon
Mini Roadkill. It’s like life-sized roadkill, only less messy, with less stink and decomposing. This Mini Roadkill Raccoon will make a great accent piece for your desk, table, shelf, wherever you need a small animal with tire tracks across it’s flattened body. Do you think his name is Stanley? As in flat Stanley? Speaking of that dude, maybe you can mail this guy back and forth across the world, as a reminder to look when you drive. I’m just spit-balling ideas.

I have no idea what to do with a flattened Raccoon. Put it on your Christmas tree behind an elf on a cycle, so it looks like he’s leaving the scene of an accident. Or maybe it was no accident. Elves are demented like that.

Animated Raccoon Prop Is Crazy As Hell

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Can'd Coon
Holy coon in a can batman! If you want to scare the candy-corn riddled poop out of your trick or treaters this year, put this animated raccoon prop in your yard and just watch the local police reports pile up as your neighbors call 911. This ferocious pile of fur pounces out of the trash can, makes snarly sounds and spits some kind of green venom at it’s victims.

It can’t be bargained with. It can’t be reasoned with. It doesn’t feel pity, or remorse, or fear. It doesn’t want your Halloween candy. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

Click through to see this crazy thing on video.
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Taxidermy Fridge Magnets

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taxidermy fridge magnet
We don’t all have room in our homes to display stuffed and mounted dead stuff. So what can you do? Well, if you absolutely have to have some dead stuff around and the conversation with your dead grandmother’s corpse in the rocking chair has turned boring, try these Taxidermy Fridge Magnets.

No miniature animals actually had to die so that you can display them on your fridge. Ya whack job! I kid. But really, this is a much classier way to display dead animals. A real space saver too. Now you can be a big game (magnet) hunter. They even come in super cool packaging that makes each piece look like they are on display in a tiny room.
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Garden Critter Solar Lights

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garden critter solar lights
You know those garden gnomes you have? They need some backup in order to keep your garden safe. These new Garden Critter Solar Lights will round out your garden nicely and besides, it will look like a damn Pixar movie in front of your house all day long. At night too, because these gopher and raccoon sculptures wear glasses that light up at night.

I would say these are perfect to keep animated bad guys from your garden. I’m gonna use them to illuminate a path to my door because my night vision isn’t so good.

My doctor is all like “Do you drink at night?” and I’m all like “Every night. Hence the night vision problem. Duh! What did they teach you in med school?” Then he takes the finger out and snaps his latex glove off. He’s all like, “So your cholesterol levels look fine then. See me again in two days.”

Sweet! He’s the best Doctor on Craigslist by far.

Pair Of Real Raccoon Faces

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raccoon facesWant a pair of actual Raccoon faces? Seriously, these are skinned straight from their cute little bodies and thrown on Etsy for your perusal. Only $4.95. That’s a great deal if you are into freaky animal face stuff.

Put them on your golf clubs as covers, have a creepy puppet show with them. The possibilities are really endless. Get super freaky and sew them into your own face as you wield an axe and chase others through a forest. I don’t judge. I’m just here to show you the freaky-deaky.