Tag: bone

Weird and Wild Skull Crystal Pendants

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Weird and Wild Skull Crystal Pendants
Etsy seller floridxfauna is crazy about skulls. They are also coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs and likely have Pac-Man fever, but that’s beside the point. Check out these Skull Crystal Pendants. They make me feel like an archaeologist, except I didn’t have to dig all day to find one, only to discover that the damn thing has magic occult powers that the Nazis want. I hate Nazis!

Fun fact: You know how kids get words wrong? Yeah, I was the kid who shook my dice cup and screamed, “Nazi!” For some reason that was the last game of Yahtzee ever played in my house.

Weird and Wild Skull Crystal Pendants

Weird and Wild Skull Crystal Pendants

Weird and Wild Skull Crystal Pendants

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

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Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket
This Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket is some jewelry with bite. *Puts my finger near it. Pulls it away.* This locket idea is crazy. Yeah, crazy like a fox. It’s nothin’ but teeth. This thing belongs on The X-Files. Ya know why? Cuz you wear this and you become Dana Scully. That teeth locket? Fox Molar. Ha ha ha. Get it? The tooth is out there!

If you do wear this, you’re gonna be one foxy lady. *Does the Jimi Hendrix guitar riff* C’mon, you know you’re a cute little heartbreaker… Foxy.

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Vintage Bavarian Charivari Fox Teeth Locket

Toothy Void Necklace

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Toothy Void Necklace
Toothy Void Necklace. That’s a great name for this orthodontia oddity. You got teeth with nothing but a void beyond. Not even a tongue. Unless it’s hiding back there in the dark. Kinda creepy. I better french kiss it to be sure. mmmm-aaa-hh-mmmmmm Sorry it took so long. Had to be sure. That thing has tongue alright. Not gonna lie, that was pretty enjoyable. I think we’re engaged now. Unless I’m moving too fast. Do you think I’m mis-reading things? What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if she was just using me to get her teeth cleaned? I’m so confused.

Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle

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Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle
I can’t wait to have a beer in this Scary Skull Cup With Bone Jointed Handle. The bone handle is jointed… For your pleasure. I don’t even know what that means. I’m operating on the left side of a Twix bar and two red bulls. What happened to the right side of the Twix bar? Both sides are right. And if one side is wrong I don’t wanna be right. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, this cool skull cup is my new drinking vessel of choice. BRING ME A SKULL FULL OF insert name of some kind of tough liquor that I should be manly enough to drink, but will make me cough and gag.

C’mon, let’s get drunk and slam our skulls together. THUNK! Ow!!!! I meant skull cups. Not my brain casing you stupid- What was I saying? WHO ATE MY LEFT TWIX? I only have the one. Or did I lose the left and I have the right? Why do they give you two? One would be much better for my OCD. I can’t eat it now, even if I could find it. See what you did! Wait. What are the signs of concussion? And where am I?

Small Bone Mirror With Bird Skulls

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Small Bone Mirror
Everyone looks great in a mirror that’s decorated with bones and bird skulls. I mean you look better than the skulls around your face. This Bone Mirror With Bird Skulls goes well with the coffin mirror. A mirror with bird skulls is really something to crow about. I just dove it, don’t you? Everyone is raven about it.

Hey internet boy shut up.

No you shut up. This is a free country and this is a free cafe. Well, not free. I paid for my coffee, so I’m free to blog here all I want and talk out loud while I’m typing.

And I’m free to give you a wedgie just like I did last week.

*Sigh* Yes Biff. I’m leaving now. But not because I’m scared. Not just because I’m scared, but because I can’t afford another pair of undies this week.