Tag: hats

Beer Box Cowboy Hats: DUI, Dressing Under the Influence

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

beer hat
No ossifer, I am notch drunk! I jus likes nice hatz! Just cus my hatz made of a beer box doesn’t mean I imbible alcohol. I was jus on my weight to Nascar what wif wrestlin not being on and all. Bref-a-lizer. Watts a bref-a-lizer?

Whether you are on your way to NASCAR, a tractor pull, or just chillin’ in your single-wide watching the wrastlin’, these stetson hats made from beer boxes will make you the King. Of beer. They come in all kinds of beer brands. It let’s them know what you drink before you even get to the bar. It also lets law enforcement know who to hassle.

*Points radar gun at car zooming past. Puts car in gear* We got us a live one! He was only doing about 35, but he must be drunker than a skunk at a Tallahassee wedding cause he was wearing a damn beer box on his head. Call for backup. This one is gonna be trouble.
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Holiday Bunny Butts

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

holiday bunny butts
Nothing says Christmas like a trio of bunny butts with Santa hats on them. Deck the halls with dingle-berries fa la la la la la la la la. At $50 a rabbit butt, this trio of tushies will cost you $150. I know this because as a kid I was hooked on math phonics, but I kicked the habit years ago. Yay me!

Click through for a touching holiday poem.
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Gay Toys Baseball Helmets

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

gay toys baseball hatsI’m going to put a peacock feather on my hat and really show up that pitcher. Gonna hit a line drive right upside his head and then I’m going to steal second base like he stole my heart last season. The name on the uniform is Prancer for a reason! It rhymes with dancer! What’s that Mr. Umpire? Do I like to play Reindeer games? Do I ever? You cheeky thing.

Hey Mr Pitcher man! Over here! We just met and already I got to second base. Hey look over here while I’m finger-waving at you and twirling my feather boa. Oh enough with the making dough eyes you silly goose. God, I love this game!