Tag: decor

Awesome Tattoo Art Prints

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Awesome Tattoo Art Prints
Sweet! Look at all the cool ink I just got. Syke! For my wall, not my body. I would never get a tattoo. My body is a temple. One that worships, twinkies, ding-dongs and ho-hos. Actually, I tried to get a tattoo once, but I kept passing out just looking at the selection book. The guy was all like, “Do you have narcolepsy?” And I was all like, “No, I’m cool dude. I ain’t gonna rat you out.”

These Awesome Tattoo Art Prints from ParlorTattooPrints won’t hurt a bit. Tattoo your home with all of these creepy/cool monsters and horror movie icons. Now I can be cool and say I have a bunch of tattoos. *BAM* Sorry, I just passed out thinking about it.
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Freddy vs Jason Mask

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Freddy vs Jason Mask
You know, I like Freddy. I also like Jason. But these guys are two-faced. This Freddy vs Jason Mask proves it. Secretly they’re the same guy, doing like twice the murders we thought they were doing. What other conclusion can you come to? This reminds of the other night when I ordered half pepperoni on a pizza. You got a pizza face Freddy! I don’t even care if you slip into my dreams. It has to be said. Now it’s out there. I hope I made you cry.

You made me cry Freddy. The last time you invaded my dreams. I cried for like a week. Giving me a wedgie with underwear that was giant trampoline material and throwing me up and down all night really sucked! *sniff* You really hurt me Freddy. Don’t show up tonight when I close my eyes. I’m gonna need some time. *Sniffle*

Scary Grim Reaper Statue

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Scary Grim Reaper Statue
He reaps what he sews. I’ll say that much for the Grim Reaper. Sorry if that sounded stupid. I’m just acting like I know what that phrase means. He is grim though. Why so grim? You know, you could be a Happy Reaper. It’s all about having a positive attitude. I guess it’s better than being a Prim Reaper. You don’t want to be all prim and proper, otherwise no one would come with you. Say, what are you doing here anyway?…. Oh poop.

Update:
Hey guys. He said he’s gonna let me finish this article before he takes me wherever he’s taking me, because I was so cool with him. It’s really neat here. It’s all black smoke and a void. I’m typing with my mind from another plane. JetBlue I think. Maybe Southwest! Ha. I still got it, even in the afterlife. Plane of existence you dopes.

Anywho’s I meant to talk about this Scary Grim Reaper Statue. I dare you to put it on the back of your toilet and every time you sit there you can act like he’s massaging you. Ha ha ha! He’s not sitting, he’s dead-itating! Ha ha ha ha. BRB guys. Back. He didn’t think that was funny. He’s a real grump. I’ll find my way back to you guys, I promise.

Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box Sculpture

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Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box
This Cthulhu Sasquatch Shadow Box Sculpture looks like a photo captured of the beast in the wild. Is it more Cthulhu or more Sasquatch. I have no idea. Is it live or is it Memorex? Frankly, I can’t believe it’s not butter.

This thing looks like Chewbacca and Emperor Palpatine’s love child. I think his squatting in that grass is about more than just posing for the camera. I think he might be taking a huge steaming squatch. But I’m not Cthulhu/Bigfoot expert. I just think I see some of that foliage dying.

Mannequin Soap: Now That’s Body Wash

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Mannequin Soap
Mannequin Soap. Touch that body. Work that body. Lather up that body. I like to use it until the booby mounds wear down, thereby changing the gender of the mannequin. I’ll have 200 please! Gonna put them all over my bathroom so people think I’m a serial killer.

“Where are the bodies you sick son of a-”

*Shrugs* All over my bathroom. You’ve seen ’em.”

“You wise-ass! Where did you dump them? I’m gonna see that you rot. Gonna make sure you get the death sentence.”

“Whoa! Hang on a second! For washing my hands with tiny mannequins? Good thing you guy’s didn’t see my wall of newspaper clippings and string flowcharts illustrating the takeover of our government by reptoid aliens who killed JFK and make crop circles for fun. Uh-oh… My right to be silent isn’t working. Obviously. Look, I’m just weird. I like weird soaps. Not the daytime variety though. Speaking of, shouldn’t a soap opera be lots of bubbles and a fat lady singing? See why the world is confusing for me? Are we done? It’s almost my nappy time.”