Tag: decor

Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals

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Cthulhu And Other Leather Bound Journals
MetalSomeArt sells some awesome leather bound journals. Heh. Leather bound. Sounds kinky. 50 Shades of Paper. Get it? Anyway, they have many cool journals to choose from. Cthulhu, Tarot Cards, all kinds of cool stuff. They have awesome brass plates in front. That’s what makes ’em look so fancy. So shiny. I’m gonna get one so I can write down my deepest innermost thoughts.

*Opens journal. Starts to write.* Hmmm. Nothing’s coming to me. Damn writer’s block. I hate that. Why you blockin’ me bro? What do you have against writers and why are you invisible? Silence huh? Well, nobody blocks me you blockhead. I’ll just journal about you.

Dear Diary. Today writer’s block tried to block me from your crisp white pages. But I don’t let bullies win. He’s a poopy pants which is why this entry sounds like a 2 year old rather than being in my usual 4 year old style. I hate that guy. Always blocking. Always lurking. P.S. I like your brass plate on your cover. So shiny and pretty. I like to touch it. Will you be my girlfriend? K bye.
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Concrete Cyclops Skull

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Concrete Cyclops Skull
Okay Cyclops Skull, keep an eye on the garden for me. Get it? If you do just say aye! I kid, I kid. I just like talking to my garden decorations. Say, I need to plug in the weed whacker. Do you have a spare socket? Zing! Burn! I got you so good. We are having so much pun. Wanna hear some music? I’ll get my eye-pad. Where is it? Hmmm. Keep an eye out for me will ya? Man, I crack myself up. *Drops skull in garden* Laterz. Eye have to go eat!

Next day…

*Walks out to the garden whistling. Trips over cyclops skull and gets impaled by a rake. Dying…* Eye…Eye…Eye sorry. Ha ha ha erg gasp choke gurgle dead.

Skull Full Of Souls Box

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Skull Full Of Souls Box
This Skull Full Of Souls Box is a great place to keep all of your trinkets, candy,dice, whatever. Tormented souls are all over thing thing. Kinda like this blog. *Rim shot* Nah. I love ya all even if you do have problems. And I’m saying that wearing a sequinned dress made out of meat as I kick back glass after glass of whiskey.

Don’t judge. Not my fault I Quantum Leap all over the place. Once I set stuff right, I’m outta here. Today was “Try a sequinned dress made out of meat” day. Still haven’t leaped. Running out of ideas. F Lady Gaga anyway. *Falls and breaks neck.*

*Blue light everywhere. Leaping! I’m leaping!*

Oh THATS what needed to be set right!
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Gothic Mansion Portraits Make Your Walls Weird

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Gothic Mansion Portraits Make Your Walls Weird
I don’t need this because my family portraits are all weird already, but these Gothic Mansion Portraits will put weirdos all over your walls. These Gothic Mansion Portraits will add an eerie air to the hallways and walls in your haunted house or office. You get two 65″ x 33.5″ sheets to make a scene over 5′ tall. Pretty freaky, therefore pretty awesome.

Now your house will look spooky and scary all year round. Note to whoever owns the Amityville house, your house already looks weird enough. Really. It has eyes. It can’t get any scarier.

Octopus Gamer Print

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Octopus Gamer Print
This Octopus has game! He’s kickin’ it old school playing Nintendo. This Octopus Gamer Print will help you to remember that Octopus are cool and also that they will kick your butt in a game of Super Mario Bros. That’s probably because they squirt ink in your face every time you get the high score. I hate it when they do that. That’s why Octopi are my gaming enemies.

Octopus,
Octopi,
You spit ink into the wrong effin eye.

I’ll beat you fair,
I’ll beat you square.
I’ll beat you in my underwear.

I challenge you to Mario Karts,
Let’s see if you can withstand my gamer farts.

For I have Cheetos,
And I have Mountain Dew.
Now the very air, it smells like poo.

You have passed out and I have the high score.
I celebrate and show you the door.

I bid you good day you tentacled freak,
Now back inside to sit in my reek.

I said Good Day sir!