Creepy Chairs For Your Haunted Mansion

creepy chairs
ComaToastCoffinCo makes these cool creepy chairs. They are perfect for haunted houses or just for sitting in this Halloween and looking all freaky. Wait. ComaToastCoffinCo? Cool name. ComaToast. It’s when you want toast real bad, so you make some, but you are so tired you fall asleep and don’t eat it. You also get butter all over your shirt. And…Other…Odd places. Trust me on this one.

These chairs are all rib cages, skulls and spiderwebs, which sounds like a supermodel at the end of her career. I might dress up as the Grim Reaper this Halloween and sit in one of these like a throne as I give out candy. More like, sit on this chair and get beat up by the bigger kids and have my candy taken away. Oh Halloween. No matter how old I get, nothing ever changes.
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Laser Cut Wood Halloween Lanterns

Laser Cut Wood Halloween Lanterns
EliseKoncsek makes cool and creepy Laser Cut Wood Halloween Lanterns. Too scary for me though. I get scared when people make shadows on the wall with their fingers. These lanterns cast spooky scenes on your walls. I’m talking scary. I mean, way worse than that horrid wallpaper in your room. What? You thought I couldn’t see you from this side of the screen? Of course I can. I am with you always. I see everything…*Heavy breathing.*

So you call the cops. They trace the blog. “Maam, he’s blogging from inside your house. Get out of there now!”

Relax, I would never do that to you. That would ruin, like, my whole gig blogging from your attic and crawlspaces.

Anyway, these lanterns are cool. Not as cool as that area rug in your bedroom, or that bathing suit in your drawer, but pretty cool.
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Metal Bats Bookends

Metal Bats Bookends
“Bats”. By me.

They hide in your belfries
where they like to take selfies.
They fly in your hair
and give you a scare.
They like to make guano.
and hate U2’s bono.

That was “Bats”. By me.

Check out these cool Metal Bats Bookends. It puts bats all up in your belfry. No guano. Unless your books are really bad.

Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses

Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses
These Etched Horror Themed Pint Glasses from Nyghtwear are scary, spooky and all together kooky. Like me. You can choose from zombies, Edgar Allen Poe, Vampira, Frankenstein and more.

I’m bringing mine to my favorite bar and telling the bartender to fill it up! And by my “favorite bar” I mean the long row of wine boxes on my kitchen counter. By “bartendar” I mean my assorted cats who are always licking at the nipple/dispenser part like it’s a row of mom kitty titties. As usual, there will be none left for me. I’ll just go drink from my water dish. Again! *grumbles* Going to an actual bar.

Edgar Allen Poe me another drink bartender, I brought my own Franken-stein. No this doesn’t have a lid. He flipped it. Been gone for awhile now. He likes to drink deep and forget.

So fill it up high and raise a toast to the world’s greatest monsters. Speaking of which. The wife couldn’t be here. She sends her apologies, but promises to resume her nagging and grunting the minute I get back.
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