Tag: etsy

Gold Ouija Board Leggings

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Gold Ouija Board Leggings
I wanna slide my planchette all over these Gold Ouija Board Leggings and that’s not just me talkin’ dirty. So go ahead and Ouija yourself! I just wee-jad a little myself. Weak bladder. Really, it’s like a dripping faucet bought from the thrift store at this point. When I was young, that shizz was like I bought it at Home Depot. TMI.

Baby I would love to give you a sweet leg massage while communicating with the other side, so seriously, roll over, let me see what I’m working with here. What? No you look awesome honey. I don’t see any Ouija-toe or nothing.

Horror Movie Monster Clocks

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Horror Movie Monster Clocks
What time is it? Monster time baby! These Horror Movie Monster Clocks from WigOutGraphics cover all of the classic Universal movie monsters. They have Frankenstein’s monster, Wolfman, Dracula, The Mummy, The Creature from the Black Lagoon and more. These clocks are perfect for your own haunted house or mad scientists laboratory. That’s the one that isn’t the bathroom, right? Oh yeah. That’s lavatory, however the hell that makes sense. Is there lava in there? No. If there was, I would have peed on it and created some cool steam, then enjoyed a steam bath. Stupid English language.

Hang them all on your walls and have a Monster Mash. Or a Graveyard Bash. Whichever!
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Bigfoot Molar

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Bigfoot Molar
This Bigfoot Molar is a reproduction of a tooth found on a Bigfoot skeleton in a cave. Basically some human kids found a skeleton and plucked this molar as evidence. You can read the whole story at the link. What do you think this is, story time? What, do I amuse you? I’m a funny guy huh? You talkin’ to me? Are you talkin’ to me? Sorry. Gonna have to lower the dosage on those candy bars that Doctor ME prescribed. Too much sugar.

Me? I don’t need a tooth for evidence. It’s on the internet, so it must be true. That is one huge Molar. Better than having two I guess. Than Bigfoot would be bi-molar as well as bi-polar…bear.
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Blue Tentacle Plant: Plush Potted Tentacles

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Blue Tentacle Plant Plush Potted Tentacles
You don’t need a green thumb or even a sliver of Cthulhu’s DNA to grow a potted tentacle. Just display this Blue Tentacle Plant in your home. It’s that easy. Pfft! Tentacles are for suckers! Get it?

I’m gonna get several and give them all instruments. I’m calling it the Blue Tentacle Group. Man I wish I knew how to garden. I always thought “potted” plants were just plants inhaling pot smoke. This one looks like it took some LSD.

Gotta go and practice with the band. Laterz.
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Spooky Room Lightbox

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Spooky Room Lightbox
This Spooky Room Lightbox is a fun decoration. It’s perfect for putting my action figures inside of a haunted house and creating spooky scenes while I yell from the audience. “Cut! What the hell was that? Where is your motivation? Remember, the ghost salesmen killed your lover. Where’s the anger? I’ve seen cats give a better performance in the litter box. Emote damn you! Shed a tear! Now do it again with more feeling or so help me God you will never work in this town again R2-D2! C-3PO, kiss him like you mean it!”
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