Tag: etsy

Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace

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Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace
Meow! Meow! Rubs up on your legs, showing off my insides while I put my bony cat-butt in your face. This cool Skeleton X-Ray Cat Necklace shows off the cat’s anatomy so you can get a look at it’s insides. This cat has guts, I’ll give it that. It even has a mouse in there that it just ate. Did someone have yum-yums? Was that you? Who’s the cute kitty with his insides showing? It’s you. Yes it is. *Scratches it under the chin*

BakuForestStudios has several x-ray animal necklaces to choose from. Pretty cool. Pretty cool. I wish I had a cool skeleton cat to pal around with.

T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks

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T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks
T-Rex Dinosaur Candlesticks. This dinosaur lighting accessory will provide a Jurassic spark to any room. He he he. Jurassic spark. They are made with repurposed painted plastic toys, making them awesome. They look like major awards that you could win for being the coolest dinosaur ever. Which is why I have so many.

Every year a paint a dinosaur gold, walk down my own red carpet, present one to myself and give a teary eyed speech. This year was special. I sawed a donkey in half, spray painted the butt-end gold and gave my self “The ultimate half-ass award” cuz I never do anything all the way.

Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Candles

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Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Candles
These Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark Candles will remind you to tell some scary stories when the power goes out. I’m only gonna be concerned with one story. The story about how I forgot to pay the power bill cuz I had to buy the new Star Wars figures this month. Let that be a lesson to you kids.

Thank god I only have a pint of curdled milk in the fridge. That was already bad. I think this is based on that Scary stories book by the same name. I have no idea. I scare way to easily. I mean I’m scared of reading. Because I have a powerful imagination. Reading may be fundamental, but to me it’s just mental. Uh-oh. Just conjured up a giant rabbit with fangs in my closet. I’ll be sleeping with my Teenage Mutant Ninja Toads nightlight tonight. Yeah toads. Mom bought the fifty cent knock-off version.

Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters

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Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters
If you want to protect your furniture, use these Hellraiser Puzzle Box Coasters. Cuz you know if you spill beer all over my coffee table, I’m gonna raise hell. I don’t put up with that shizz. I will raise some serious hell on the first person to leave a sweat ring on my counter too. You know Pinhead? He used to be friend “Larry” Mother effer slammed his glass down one night and left grape juice everywhere. So I made him my pin cushion. YOU JUST GOT PINNED BIATCH! HELL WILL BE RAISED!

Charlotte’s Web Talisman Necklace With Real Spider Web

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Charlotte's Web Talisman Necklace With Real Spider Web
Check out these Charlotte’s Web Talisman Necklaces With Real Spider Webs. That’s how you get creepy and nasty insects to work for you. Although I asked for my name to be spelled out like three times already and it still looks like a kindergartner with a caffeine addiction. Hell, I could have done that myself and I don’t spin webs out of my butt, but I do wrap up my food in little saran-wrap cocoons super fast using just my front legs. Hey, I dig freshness. That pot roast I cooked last night is fresh as funky beats. It’s gonna stay that way!