Tag: etsy

Morbid Decor: Human Skull Planter

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Morbid Decor Human Skull Planter
This Human Skull Planter lets you grow your plants in a replica human cranium. It gives a whole new meaning to the term “pushing up daisies”. I think I would put some googly eyes on it though. And wrap a scarf around it’s base. Then again I’m pretty crazy. I do have a green thumb though. But that’s just from getting my hand caught in that vending machine. Stupid Snickers bar. Here’s a joke for ya:

How did this skull get framed? The evidence was planted! Obviously. Excuse me while I laugh at my own lame joke. Humor brought to you by the third grade. I never really left. Well, eventually I was forced to move on, but that’s all in the past. Or not.

Glowing Alien Fetus In A Jar

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Glowing Alien Fetus In A Jar
This Glowing Alien Fetus In A Jar looks like it is about to go nuclear. This is what happens when you have a kid after exposing your nads to the microwave too often. And that’s all I’m saying about that. Well, I’ll say one more thing. Microwave radiation will not turn your junk into The Hulk.

Anyway, look at this little fetus. He has a real de-fetus attitude doesn’t he? You would too if you were a glowing fetus all stuck in a jar and glowing, with a cork on top so you can’t escape. This will make a lovely centerpiece for my table. That way I can dine by fetal light instead of candle light. And ask my wife if she’s ready to have kids.

Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad

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Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad
These creepy Gothic Shoulder Bags For Your iPad from iRebell will protect your tablet while creeping other people the hell out. That’s always a good thing. Bats are cool. Screw people who don’t get that. Bats are awesome. Sometimes I hang upside down just to be all cool like them. Then I fall on my head and forget what I was doing. The problem is I don’t have sonar. I can get a bonar just fine, ask the ladies, but no sonar. And I will wrap my wings around you and nibble on your neck just like a bat though. I’m very bat-like is what I’m trying to say. If bats were huge in the middle and were barely able to fly and munching on cheese balls all day.
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Vintage Phrenology Head

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Vintage Phrenology Head
Phrenology is the study of… Yeah, I’m at a loss. It’s your personality based on the shape of your head or something. I have no idea. What is a Phren anyway? A phren is a phren, right till the end. Put her there phren. I’ll see you later. I have to go consult a head about my life. I think it might be a map to buried treasure that aliens implanted in my brain. Plus, I’m gonna get this vintage phrenology head just cuz it looks cool.
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Milton Moondust Is A Real Lunar-Tic

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Milton Moondust Is A Real Lunar-Tic
Meet Milton Moondust. His head is made of cheese. Sometimes people land on it. This makes him sad. It also makes him sad that I just pointed and laughed and called him “Crater-face”. He probably has alien bases on the dark side of his head. NASA has pictures, but they’re covering it up. I guess aliens on his head would be considered moon-cooties. Poor Milton.