Tag: etsy

Roswell 1947 Bracelet

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Roswell 1947 Bracelet
The aliens that crash landed in Roswell New Mexico in 1947 were probably drunk driving. Or texting maybe. Or making sweet love with their fingers like Mr. Spock does. They crashed during a lightning storm. Well, these alien’s misfortune can be your gain. Because you get to own this cool Roswell 1947 Bracelet. The seller says:

The saucer section of this sterling silver bracelet is embedded in a field of many small pieces of metal that have been fused and soldered to the bracelet cuff to simulate earth.

I’m a little bummed at the lack of alien corpses, bongs and beer can debri, but it’s pretty awesome.

Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton

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Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton
Get yourself a Life Size Dinosaur Skeleton. Without having to dig it up from your back yard. Or like I did, tunneling under my own house so I can check my neighbor’s yard for fossils. To bad about the sink hole that lowered their roof to ground level. That was just coincidence. I only removed like 3 Wooly Mammoth skulls and a full T-Rex.

On the bright side, now I can do motorcycle jumps from my yard onto their roof, wearing an Evel Knievel jumpsuit and a dinosaur skull for a helmet. Well, not anymore since my cycle is now lodged half in their living room and half in their basement.

Leather Cat Purse

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Leather Cat Purse
Wait, wait, wait! Let me see if I have this expression straight. The cat’s out of the bag. But how can it be, when this Leather Cat Purse clearly shows that the cat IS the bag? Is the bag now out of the cat? No, really, this is messing with my head. I can’t tell if this thing is the cat’s meow or the cat’s pajamas. Is it ketchup or catsup? Now I’m freaking out man! Cat have your tongue? No, but it can hold your lipstick and other stuff.

Anyway, look what the cat dragged in. This awesome purse. Ha ha. It looks like the cat that ate the canary. ha ha. I’m losing it. Losing it. Like a cat on a hot tin roof. I need to go meow.

Crystal Skull With A Spider Inside

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spider skull
Looky looky, everybody stop your nooky. This crystal skull has a spider lodged in it’s cranium. I mean lodged, as in it has taken up residence, like a real roger-dodger-lodger. This insect is a drainium on the Cranium. He’ll make ya feel dull in the skull, see.

Wait, what? It’s not “talk like an old timey radio guy” day? I always get that wrong. That’s after “talk like a pirate” day and before “walk like a busy hooker after a long night” day. I just can’t keep up.

Anywho, this crystal skull has a spider stuck inside. Haha. You can’t get me, spider. Suck it! *The sound of glass shattering.* Oh poopy!
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The Coffin Mirror

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Coffin Mirror
Mirror mirror, on the wall, who is the deadest one of all? Wait. Maybe I don’t want to know. Yeah. Just forget that I asked. Anyway, whose idea was it to decorate this place like a funeral home? I mean, I know it’s dead around here, but geesh.

This Coffin Mirror really puts your mortality in your face. I heard that if you approach the coffin mirror and begin coughing, that probably means your time is just about up. You smash this thing, you’re not getting seven years bad luck, but an undertaker will start following you around. No thanks. I’ll stick with the mirror I have. Which is a good looking dude named Steve, who I met on Craigslist, and pay to stand on the other side of the wall.