Tag: etsy

I Got Brain Skull Candle Holder Set

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Brain Skull Candle Holder Set
This I Got Brain Skull Candle Holder Set lets you burn brains as candles, while inside of skulls. Hey I got brain too. Nah. I lied. I can’t brain today. I can barely even adult.

The seller’s name is Brainfart55. Is that your ask or your IQ? Hahahahaha. Both? Cool. Nah. I kid, I kid. Now if you’ll excuse me I am going to draw a hot bath and burn some brain candles.

*Falls asleep in the tub*

Wakes up to see all of the gooey brain mass dripping out of the skull and jumps like 10 feet! Jeebus Christ! I thought someone had been shot! This is why I can’t have relaxing baths!

Octopus Hoodie

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Octopus Hoodie
I love that show with the transforming and ink squirting octopi. “Ink squirters. More than meets the eye.” Octo-mus Prime is my favorite. Wait. I’m mixing stuff up again. Which usually starts with mixing meds. I have no idea what I’m saying, or even where I am half the time, but if there is one thing we can agree on it is this: Octopussy was not the best James Bond flick, but it had the best name.

Another thing we can agree on? That this Octopus Hoodie is the coolest effin hoodie in the hood any day of the week. (Almost typed day of the weak which is everyday for me.) Don’t believe me? Then I’ll shoot you with my Glock…topus. Son.

I’ll leave you with this bit of wisdom: You kids think tats are awesome and all, but Octopus wrestlers were getting inked long before it was cool. Think about it.
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Large Whale Submarine Cutaway

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Large Whale Men Submarine Cutaway
All aboard! This Large Whale Submarine Cutaway lets you experience the inner workings of the largest mammals on Earth and see the men inside who drive them. They aren’t the dwarfs and elves I thought they were. It’s a whale of a good time.

A great catch. The deadliest catch? Enough sea references. I heard you telling me to shut my blow-hole. Well shiver me timbers and quiver me giblets, my giblets ain’t been this quivered since me timbers were delivered. That there is wordstuff coming full circle matey. Yer mind be blown. *Hand gestures explosion*
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Cthulhu Dice And Prop Boxes

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Cthulhu Dice And Prop Boxes
abenkim sells all kinds of cool Cthulhu Dice And Prop Boxes so you can store your dice and trinkets in style. Store your dice, assorted toenail clippings, whatever. It’s all good. Cthulhu don’t care if you store your underwear!

They are all handmade by people who H.P. Love Crafts! Do you Cthulhu? I Cthulhu. But only on the weekends, cuz I gots to get shizz done. And I can’t get stuff done if I’m Cthulhu-ing all over the damn place. Now can I? I only have so many tentacles and the lifespan of a gnat compared to some ancient horrors. Speaking of mother… *yells* “Where are my dice mom?” See? I need these boxes.
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Victorian Skull Cufflinks

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Victorian Skull Cufflinks
Victorian Skull Cufflinks are skulls for your formal attire. Whatever that means. I don’t dress up. Obviously. Put ’em on your cuffs and look creepy and awesome. They don’t have jaws so they won’t give you any jibber-jabber.

I had a pair of cufflinks once. Was on my way to some fancy shindig and trying to get ’em on, when I said to this guy, “Cuff me. Would ya?” So he cuffed me and threw me in the back of the police car. He eventually helped me with my cufflinks and let me off with a warning not to turn myself in like that, followed by “You fat bas*ard.” I agreed and we went our separate ways.
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