Tag: etsy

Underwear Cookies: Just Wait’ll We Get Our Hanes…In You

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

underwear cookiesUnderwear cookies. Edible undies! Tidey Whiteys! They start out white, but after a while they are just a well traveled road covered in skid marks and yellow oil stains from accidents. Accidents are gonna happen on any road. You can say, “Fix our roads. What do we pay taxes for?”, but really you are just too cheap to buy new underwear. And by you, I mean me.

To Etsy seller SugarLaneBakeShop, I say this. I want to eat your undies! All of them. Not ashamed to say it.
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Looks Like Fetal Mac N’ Cheese: Babies in a Can

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

babies in a canSometimes you miss the chance to buy an item and somebody else gets the score. That was the case with these babies in a can. I never even had a chance to buy them. I was hovering over the buy button, trying to think how many I had in the pantry and just like that, gone. Turns out, I was all out of ’em too.

Look at ’em, looking so creamy and tasty, all crammed in there, wiggling around. Yummy!

Beer Bottle Telephone For All Your Drunk Dialing Needs

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

beer telephoneDrunk dialing will take on a whole new meaning with this awesome Beer Bottle telephone. “Hello, alcohol? I lob you man. No, really. Yer like, my faborite thing ever.” *hiccup* “What? Nah. No man. I meant to dial you. Alcohol is just a term of endangerment. I mean endearment.”

*Nods off and jolts awake* “Hello! I’d like to make a collect call to my liber, uh, liver. Make it quick brewmaster, or operator, or whatever. He’s drowning.” *decorates the wall with a puke jet-stream. Wipes mouth with arm* “Nevermind. All better now. Can you get me a cleaning lady instead?”
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Pizza Cat iPhone Case

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

cat pizza iphone caseCats and pizza. These two things fuel the internet. No human can resist either. Now you can have both on one convenient iPhone case for your iPhone 4, iPhone 5 and iPhone 5C. I can haz pizza cat case? Yes, you can. Why is it cute when a cat sticks his head through a slice, but when I stick my head through a whole pie I’m an A-hole?

Greaser From The Booze Lagoon Taxidermied Head

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greaser from the booze lagoonHey, it’s the creature from the booze lagoon. What’s up bro? Drag any sweet ladies into your filthy water hole lately? Why you looking at me like that? Dude you have anger issues. Was just asking how you’ve been. Damn.

Click through for the seller’s short story about this taxidermy head.
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