Tag: fun

Jaws Bathing Suit

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Jaws Bathing Suit
I wonder why she’s still single. She has a great body. A beautiful face. I’m sure her personality is great. Maybe it’s the fact that SHE HAS A SHARK coming out of her nether regions thanks to this Jaws Bathing Suit. Bigger boat? I’m not going near that with an aircraft carrier. Yeah, I would pass too.

Nether regions. Heh. Fun word. Does that mean that all of those people in the netherlands are all pu**ies? I’m thinking maybe. I’d have to consult some book learning dude to know for sure. JK Netherlands. You know I love ya. I spent a week there one night in a one horse town where even the horse left.

Giant Pickle Body Pillow

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Pickle Body Pillow
Ever find yourself in a pickle? Maybe you’re a pickle who finds himself reading in bed. Listen, this world is flippin’ crazy. I don’t know what to tell ya. As far as I know I am hallucinogenic-free. And I still saw it! I just saw a pickle reading in bed. He’s not even in a pickle. Just enjoying a good story. Gettin’ his juice all up in that bed so he can settle in and soak for the night. Like I do. I sweat a lot and stew in my own juices. That’s your TMI for the day. The more you know…

Giant Pickle Body Pillow. Basically the internet really freaks me out.

Therapeutic Cooling And Heating Facehugger…With Soothing Chamomile

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Therapeutic Cooling And Heating Facehugger
Normally Facehuggers are for horror, but in this case they are for healing. I have no idea how a Facehugger is supposed to cure what ails you, but this one is filled with rice, chamomile, and lavender…to relax and soothe you.

I might just buy it because it looks like a Facehugger whoopee cushion. Also, I have the strange urge to hit people with it.
Read more “Therapeutic Cooling And Heating Facehugger…With Soothing Chamomile”

Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse
Hey ladies! Carry all of your lady stuff in this Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse. *Removing my arms from my shirt sleeves and putting them into my shirt. Flapping away like crazy and making bat noises as I try to escape.* Just call me Bat-Dini! Who? No not Houdini. And not Who-dini either. That’s an owl thing I do when I’m bored in bed.

Anyway, this awesome bat purse is awesome. Flappin’ awesome. Like wing flappin’ and teeth sinking into your neck awesome. Make sure you carry it upside down during the day, cuz it needs sleep.
Read more “Metallic Dark Purple Bat Purse”

Garbage Pail Kids Flats

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Garbage Pail Kids Flats
Is your name Atom Bomb? Elaine Vein? Wally Tamale? These Garbage Pail Kids Flats are for you. They have Garbage Pail Kids printed all over them. Actually, these are for women. Sorry guys. You’ll have to find some GPK shoes elsewhere.
Read more “Garbage Pail Kids Flats”