Tag: fun

Ghoulish Book of Grammar

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ghoulish grammar book
Grammar Nazis hate me, because I ain’t speak proper engrish. This Ghoulish Book of Grammar might help. It basically teaches adult weirdos about the ABCs using horror characters and nightmarish images. It will scare you into proper grammar. Won’t work on me though. I learned my grammar in the slammer son. Thug life.

I was in for like 24 hours in the drunk tank. Sounds fun, I know, but despite the name, it really is NOT a tank of alcohol you get to swim around in. It’s more like a tank of vomit and urine. And some crazy-eyed dude named Pedro who tells you you are pretty as he sniffs your hair.
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Bird Poop Stickers

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bird poop stickers
Birds are bombing us every day and every night, in a gooey campaign of shock and awe, hoping that they’ll wear us down. That’s why hoodies were invented in the first place. True story. The point is, birds poop all over us and our stuff, so why not prank someone with these fun Bird Poop Stickers. They look just like real bird turds.

Put them all over that expensive car across the street for instance. What a sh***y thing to do!

Plush Butt Tissue Box Cover

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plush butt tissue holder
The first thing that hits me about these Plush Butt Tissue Box Covers is that these butts are always being wiped. I mean, they have to be the cleanest butts ever, plush or otherwise. If I could poop toilet paper, my butt might actually get clean. For once.

Plush Butts. It’s fun to say. Plush Butts. I have to sing it with the Duck Tales theme, cuz everything goes with the Duck Tales song.

Plush Butts. Wooo hooo. Do do do da do do do do do Plush Butts. Wooo hooo.

Plush Butts are better than slush butts. Take it from someone who has had a serious case of both in the past.

Beetlejuice Art Doll

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beetlejuice art doll
Itttt’s showtime! Beetlejuice! Betelguese! Beetleguese! Ah hell. Why do I always do exactly what I’m not supposed to do? Now Micheal Keaton just showed up in my house. He’s making a sandwich right now and feeding the cat. I think we’re roommates now. He cried like a little girl when I told him Birdman sucked. Gonna get him some black/white striped pajamas and some face paint so he can re-enact stuff from Beetlejuice.

This Beetlejuice doll stands 19 inches tall and is pretty awesome. It makes far less noise than SOME people when he chews his sandwich. I’m looking at you Mike. You are Birdman. Peck at it. Don’t chew with your beak full.

Planet Of The Apes / Frankenstein Sculptures

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planet of the apes head
A planet where 3D Apes evolved from 2d pictures of monsters? In a picture frame? It’s alive! Alive! These apes have evolved from Frankenstein, creating FRANKENZAIUS and APENSTEIN. Clever play on words. You know what else is a clever play on words? FRANKEN-FECES. That’s what they will be flinging when they are forced to war with humans for our resources.

Does no one learn from Mary Shelly? Stop creating these things. Seriously. You’ll kill us all. Except for me. Ape shall not kill ape. Thank God for all this back hair! Wooo-hooo!

Bonus video below.
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