Tag: funny

Roswell Alien Sculpture

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Roswell Alien Sculpture
This is an alien from Roswell. You remember that UFO crash? It was in all the papers, until they hushed everyone up and secretly made friends with the aliens, trading Easter peeps for technology. Anyway, this Roswell Alien Sculpture is all like, “Hey man, wasup? We just kinda crashed in your yard. It will take us about 4 hours to fix this old hunk of junk, so in the meantime hows about dropping them pants and lettin’ us probe you? What say you human?”

This thing is gonna look sweet in my front yard once I get some plaster and make him anatomically correct. See why my neighbors love me?

Satan’s Cheerleaders Dress

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Satan's Cheerleaders Dress
Hey look! Satan’s Cheerleaders Dress. Did you try out for the team? I know right! I was like, soooo in the finals, but my breasts just weren’t perky enough. Wanna go get a frappuchino and stare vacantly at nothing? K. Cool. What was I saying?

Ra-ra Shish-boom-ba! The devil’s gonna win so burn your bra.
Our teams hot cuz it’s from Hades,
You sold your soul for that brand new Mercedes.

I don’t know the rest. I’ll ask the coach. Also, that burn your bra line has nothing to do with with women’s rights. It just rhymed. I love what you’re doing up there. *Points at breasts* Whether they’re bound or unbound. You go girl.

People I Want To Punch In The Face Book

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People I Want To Punch In The Face Book
Oh look, it’s Facebook. People I Want To Punch In The Face Book! This handy notebook is a good place to write down all of the people’s names that you want to punch in da face! Let’s have a look inside and see if it comes with any names. *Opens it up*

Creepbay writer! Creepbay writer! Creepbay writer! I hate that guy! Creepbay writer! Creepbay writer! Creepbay writer!

Oh snap! That guy really wants to punch me. Yeah, well I’m gonna fill mine up with your name! What’s your name? Damn! *Doorbell rings. I walk over and answer* PUNCH!

OW! *Wakes up an hour later* I guess we’re good now. Unless somebody else has my name in this book. Come at me bro!

Weird And Awesome Greeting Cards – Jesus And Dinosaurs

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weird greeting cards
Etsy seller unusualcards has all kinds of weird and crazy greeting cards. We like these ones that feature Jesus and dinosaurs. How about the baby Jesus in the manger with a T-Rex looking over him? I say that’s awesome. Not as awesome as Jesus riding a dinosaur and delivering gifts to homes at Christmas, but still.

These freaky cards rock. Check out their shop. They have a lot to choose from. There were a lot of dinosaurs to choose from once. Not anymore. Their time ran out. The time on their meter expired. I mean meteor. Heh. Dino humor.
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Hipster Head Bag

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Hipster Head Bag
The Hipster Head Bag lets you carry the head of a hipster around with you as if you have decapitated one and are now using it as a trophy purse. Carry your items inside the head of this hipster and fill his head with something aside from artisanal foods and how to tie off his man-bun under that hat. This bag really is hip. Cuz it’s on your hip.
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