Tag: garden

These Vintage Doll Planters Are Totally Creepy

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creepy doll planter
Is that a Cthulhu parasite hatching out of that doll’s head? Nah. Well maybe. It’s a plant. And it’s a good reminder that plants can kill. These terrifying planters come from Etsy seller EarthSeaWarrior, who likes to make creepy things protrude from bodies.

You can find all kinds of creeptastic doll planters in their shop. I hope they use a life-sized mannequin next just so I can call it Mannequin 2: Electric Boogaloo With Cthulu. Check out some bonus shots below of a headless flapper with a Cthulhu-Rhoid and a poo faced doll baby sucking it’s own tentacles.
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Pet Zombie Plant Garden Starter Kit

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pet zombie garden kitI always wanted to grow my own zombie. Now I can thanks to this Pet Zombie Plant Garden Starter Kit. I can’t wait to grow him real big and cut off his head! Why else ya gonna grow a zombie? It’s all about practice for the zombie apocalypse.

Growing a zombie has gotta work out better than that time I bought that Batman figure that was supposed to grow six times it’s size. I took it out of the package and waited. Nothing. DID NOT grow. Just stood there being a weenie sized Batman. So I got pissed off and flushed it down the toilet.

Big mistake. Two hours later I hear this gurgling and groaning sound like two epic foes are fighting deep inside the pipes. Next thing you know the toilet explodes and Batman bursts out, all intertwined with Clayface as they battle.

Long story short, that was poo, not Clayface. And I really should read instructions. *Facepalm* He grows in Water! That’s how I acquired my limited edition poo armored Batman figure with authentic Gotham sewer scent.
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Zombie Gnomes Feast On Pink Flamingos

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Lawn Gnome ZombiesCry havoc and let slip the gnomes of war! These little pointy-hatted bastards are ferocious. Like happy little waddling Piranha. Everything is calm and tranquil in the yard. The sun is caressing your petunias. The sprinklers lazily water the lawn and recede. A bird twitters and drinks from a fountain. The morning dew still glistens on the brows and beards of decorative gnomes in your garden. Suburbia is tranquil today… Until you set out a pink flamingo on your lawn and walk back into your humble abode.
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