Tag: halloween

Large Spider Belt Buckle

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Large Spider Belt Buckle
This Large Spider Belt Buckle is just the spider I need to stand guard outside of my man-junk like a bouncer. What it would be guarding against, I have no idea. You ladies aren’t exactly beating down my zipper. Well, unless you count a few Karate kicks.

Just noticed. This thing has 10 legs. Wait. 10 legs? Just Googled it. Some spiders have 10 legs. WTF? You weren’t creepy and leggy enough? I’m talking to you too Heidi Klum. And you Kelly Ripa.

What has 14 legs, the perfect sized waist, two heads and a cool belt buckle? Answer: Heidi Klum and Kelly Ripa tied together with a belt bearing this buckle while they yak endlessly and slap at each other.
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Monster Choker Necklace

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Monster Choker Necklace
Hey, check out my choker! Does that sound dirty? Sorry. I mean my Monster Choker Necklace. Really though, check it out. Go ahead and unzip it. Go on. Hey, why are you running away? I guess some people just don’t appreciate fashion.

Check this out.*Puts a hot dog in there. zips it back up. Unzips it a minute later.* See? Gone. Thing is hungry as hell. I fed it some Skittles and onion rings earlier too. Problem is I have to brush ’em every night or they get even nastier. It’s a real pain.

Jewel Beetle Wings Finger Tip Ring Set

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Jewel Beetle Tip Ring Set
Ladies and gentlemen. The Beetles! *Crowd goes wild.* Replace your nails with beetle wings finger tip rings. Why not? You’ll look like Witch and real witches use beetle wings. Real witches also get houses thrown on them thanks to a girl named Dorothy. So look out for that.

Did you know, if you say beetle wings three time real fast, a beetle will appear. It’s either going to be Paul or Ringo. You feeling lucky?
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Walking Spider Eyeball

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Walking Eyeball Spider
If the Illuminati has spy equipment and you know they do, this is what it would look like. When it’s masters aren’t keeping tabs on the likes of Jay-Z and Lady Gaga, this thing probably wonders into your home to keep it’s eye on you. All because you typed something weird into a search engine. It happened to me, it can happen to you. Hey, I’m a blogger. My search history is supposed to be weird. What’s your excuse?

I bet they named it something cool like Iris. Who do you think taught this Walking Spider Eyeball it’s trade? I have no idea, but it was a good pupil. Are these jokes corny-a? Going now.

Inflatable Gargoyle Halloween Costume

Artemis WinterfordLeave a comment

Inflatable Gargoyle Halloween Costume
What in the f**kitty s**tstorm! What on Earth is that Gargoyle doing to you? Oh wait. Just saw the last two images. What are YOU doing to him? I don’t even- It goes from a surprise dry-hump(LOL Look at the terror on that guy’s face. He’s got his hand out like, “Oh nos! WTF is happening?) to an insane struggle that has both of these freaks on the ground rolling around. I’m unsure if this is consensual or not which makes me feel weird.

On the off chance that this ended up being consensual, I wish you both the best of luck. If not. I hope that weird dude feels better soon.
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