Tag: halloween

Creepy Chairs For Your Haunted Mansion

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creepy chairs
ComaToastCoffinCo makes these cool creepy chairs. They are perfect for haunted houses or just for sitting in this Halloween and looking all freaky. Wait. ComaToastCoffinCo? Cool name. ComaToast. It’s when you want toast real bad, so you make some, but you are so tired you fall asleep and don’t eat it. You also get butter all over your shirt. And…Other…Odd places. Trust me on this one.

These chairs are all rib cages, skulls and spiderwebs, which sounds like a supermodel at the end of her career. I might dress up as the Grim Reaper this Halloween and sit in one of these like a throne as I give out candy. More like, sit on this chair and get beat up by the bigger kids and have my candy taken away. Oh Halloween. No matter how old I get, nothing ever changes.
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Laser Cut Wood Halloween Lanterns

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Laser Cut Wood Halloween Lanterns
EliseKoncsek makes cool and creepy Laser Cut Wood Halloween Lanterns. Too scary for me though. I get scared when people make shadows on the wall with their fingers. These lanterns cast spooky scenes on your walls. I’m talking scary. I mean, way worse than that horrid wallpaper in your room. What? You thought I couldn’t see you from this side of the screen? Of course I can. I am with you always. I see everything…*Heavy breathing.*

So you call the cops. They trace the blog. “Maam, he’s blogging from inside your house. Get out of there now!”

Relax, I would never do that to you. That would ruin, like, my whole gig blogging from your attic and crawlspaces.

Anyway, these lanterns are cool. Not as cool as that area rug in your bedroom, or that bathing suit in your drawer, but pretty cool.
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Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props

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Disney Haunted Mansion dining table props
I’ve never been to your fancy Disneyland or Disney World. Probably because your parents were cooler than mine. So I have no idea what all the fuss is over the Haunted Mansion, but judging by these Disney Haunted Mansion Full Dining Set Props, the ghosts are eating better than I am.

I’m gonna set the table and wait for the ghosts. Then when they come, me and Bill Murray, Dan Akroyd and the rest of the Ghostbusters are gonna let them have it. I’ll probably get slimed. I typed “slimmed” at first, but that ain’t happening. If ghosts caused weight loss, Elvira would be the Jenny Craig spokesperson holding meetings at haunted houses.
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Baby Doll Head Leggings

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Baby Doll Leggings
Dear God in heaven! In the name of all that is holy, those are some hauntingly creepy Baby Doll Head Leggings. It’s like a portal to hell opened up and they all came spilling out! I can hardly even look at their faces. Fun fact: I am so disturbed I almost typed, “I can hardly look at their feces”. That would actually be preferable to these demonic doll heads.

If you look real close some of them look like they have butt-heads. God help us all. The demon doll head invasion has begun!

Skeleton Platform Boots

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skeleton boots
Get your bones in these Skeleton Platform Boots and tower over everyone else while showing the world your skeletal feet. They say SWEAR on the side so I just cursed my butt off. Nah. I lied. Just like after every workout my butt is still there.

Well, I did kind of swear when I saw these. I was all like, “F**kity f**k that’s a cool pair of boots! I gotta show the creepers.” Then I stubbed my toe and went on a 2 minute swear-rant that ended with me washing my own mouth out with soap. If there’s one thing I can’t abide, it’s a potty mouth. I hate having to do it, but how else will I learn?
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