Tag: halloween

Zombie Head Magnets

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Zombie Head Magnets
Are all Zombie Head Magnets present and accounted for? Let’s take a head count? Who’s the head zombie here? Oh, you’re all heads. Nevermind then. Carry on. I’m gonna head out now. No offense. You all are welcomed for the heads up.

Put these magnets on your fridge and scare people so they don’t steal your food. Your fridge will look good, but don’t let it go to your head. Ha! I got one last head joke in. You needed another like you need a hole in the head, but still.
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Spiderweb Bookends

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Spiderweb Metal Bookends
Spiderweb Bookends. I already have my own. It’s called not reading and allowing spiders to decorate. The webs hold my books in place, while all of the dead flies aka spider juice boxes insure that I will never ever touch a book again.

I would listen to books on audio, but I got spiderwebs in my headphones too. What? I don’t use my stuff a lot! And once the spiders get to it, I ain’t using it. And I can’t listen to the books I like out loud, because they usually involve the Scottish Highlands, a dashing open-shirted rogue and the enchanting young maidens who fall for him.

The Zipper Choker Necklace

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zipper choker necklace
Gonna buy this Zipper Choker Necklace for my wife. She’ll get all choked up about it. Or maybe choke me. You never can tell. Everytime she wears it I’m gonna be all like, “XYZ. Examine your zipper.” I might even call her zippy. Depends if she’s in a punching mood or not.

Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah
Zip-A-Dee-A
My oh my, what a wonderful day.

Guillotine Necklace: Heads Will Roll

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Guillotine Necklace Heads Will Roll
Heads will roll, I mean turn, when you wear this awesome Guillotine Necklace. You should totally get a little action figure and put it’s head in this. Something innocent like E.T. or C-3PO. I hate both those guys. Is it Gee-O-Tine or Gill-O-Tine? I can never get that right. Gill-O-Tine sounds like a protein drink for fish. Pretty sure that ain’t right. Whatevs.

It’s a sharp and primitive instrument of death. For your neck.

Facehugger Mask

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Facehugger Mask
This guy is getting hugs all day long from this Facehugger Mask. He still looks surprised about it. This creepy critter wants to hug your face next. Will you let him? Or her? I have no idea about it’s gender. When it comes to a face hugger’s sex, I don’t ask, don’t tell. Just don’t want none.

I ain’t that desperate. Okay, I am, but I’m trying really hard not to be tempted by that sexy hugger of faces. You minx. Okay fine, you sexy seductress, hit my face all hard and squishy and start huggin’. Oh yeah. Just like that.
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